Summation

I came here thinking I'd dis you but you're alright.
Anonymous

You are proof that sincerity and honesty is a more effective tool than flag waving and stance-standing. You're like Gandhi! What's amazing about you is that you have no ulterior motives or agenda. And that's why people respond to you.
Keila

(You're) a fat, emotionally immature pig. Give me a reason to support someone who's allowed themselves to spiral out of control with weight, has been incredibly hypocritical with their views, and acts like a petulant 12-year old.
Anonymous

People just like to judge easy targets and you're an easy targert ONLY because they don't know you and you're internet-famous. You're the Lindsay Logan of weight loss surgery.
Zabeth

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Hi! I'm Heidi!

I started blogging in 2002. Before it was widely-called "blogging." It was called, "Uhhh, I have this thing...online...it's like a diary? Except people read it? Yeah, I don't know, it's weird."

About six months later I was fired because I'd been writing extensively about the psychotic born-again Christian zealots who employed me and the hilarity/horror I dealt with on a daily basis while working from their home. It was so worth it.

The lesson you should take from this: Don't blog about your job unless you're willing to lose it!

I spent seven months unemployed; watching movies, eating Chinese food, and buying stuff I didn't need at Sav-On. Then the clouds parted and I found the job I'd been dreaming of for years. I was the Office Manager and Program Coordinator for a non-profit youth services agency that works with teens in South Central Los Angeles. I had my own office and it was pretty rad.

I started there in 2003 and was laid off in July 2008. I became a grant writer for numerous non-profit agencies but was laid off again in May 2009. The economy is especially not good for non-profit organizations.

More than anything in the world I want enough money and energy to go back to school and major in Psychology and Women's Studies. I miss school so much that it physically hurts at times. Nerd, I know. I want, at least, my Master's but do dream of a PhD or two. My only career goal is to save the world.

At one point I had to take a leave of absence from my Office Manager job due to pain and limited mobility. On October 22, 2007 I had weight loss surgery at 550 pounds. I also consider myself fat positive. It caused a bit of a kerfuffle in the fat acceptance community. While the vast majority of people have been compassionate and supportive, some haven't. I've been called a sell-out and a hypocrite and people wished for my death. Some people will no longer associate with me.

Less than a year later my blog was linked from a whole lot of sites (hey goons!) and the insanity began again. Only now the screams of hypocrisy and wishes for my death came from fatphobes.

Hatred of Heidi: Closing the Gap!

Though I've lost 200 pounds following surgery, I'm still struggling with health issues and disordered eating along with the added excitement of crippling debt from medical bills; chronic pain; and clinical life-long depression and anxiety.

My depression reached the point that I was institutionalized for eight days in January 2009. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (among several other things) and put on medication that has made me feel calmer and saner than I ever had in my entire life.

In a span of eight months (during 2009-2010) I found a job and was laid off. I fell in love and was dumped three times by the same person. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, bone spurs, spinal damage, and celiac. My father committed suicide while I was in the next room. My mother lost use of her legs, was diagnosed with three kinds of cancer, became terminal, and had to enter a nursing home. My finances imploded. My psychiatrist put me on disability for my mental health issues. I was on the verge of homelessness.

Then a friend - whom I'd known online for eight years via my blog - offered to let me move in. I laughed for awhile because, seriously, move to Alabama? You must be kidding. But everything was in such disarray that I decided to go for it.

I got rid of everything that didn't fit in my car and drove cross-country to live somewhere I'd never been and with someone I'd never met. And it was the best decision I ever made. I'm getting my emotional and physical health in order; I'm making incredible friends; I'm growing stronger and happier. Right now, this is where I belong.

♥ Some labels I identify with are fat, pansexual, feminist, bleeding heart liberal, INFP, ridiculously loyal, blindly optimistic, atheist, compassionate, introverted, self-doubting, and dorky.

♥ I'm know for my completely random celebrity sightings. Including but not limited to: Chris Rock, Jon Lovitz, Mike Tyson, and Jaleel White (aka Steve Urkel.)

♥ I love fireworks and need more of them in my life. Literally and metaphorically.

♥ I'm completely incapable of spelling "embarrass," "broccoli," "recommend," or "necessary" without looking them up.

♥ I've memorized the first 20 Presidents but can't memorize the rest, no matter how hard I try. This drives me insane.

I ♥ shaved ice; cartoons; sharks, dinosaurs, and cephalopods; pin-up girls; listening to the same song so many times it makes your ears bleed; collaging; kissing; vintage typewriters and suitcases; Malibu Rum; DIY; Leopold "Butters" Stotch; office supplies; sex; sleeping; retractable ultra fine-point Sharpies; roadside oddities; and overpriced tequila.

I don't ♥ onions; summer; slow drivers; fatphobia; wet floors; traffic; ballpoint pens; the patriarchy; liars; and people who use more than three ellipses.

I would ♥ to travel...anywhere and everywhere; sushi and sake delivered to me, now please; a day at Disneyland; cheaper gas; to learn how to knit, sew, and cook; a vegetable garden; a better credit rating; to be outgoing and unafraid; the ability to juggle, surf, and play the violin; a stone cottage surrounded by wildflowers;and enough willpower to go vegan.

Weight Loss Surgery
♥ why I had it ♥ insane nutrition class ♥ the idea of "before & after" ♥ surgery itself ♥
♥ shaving my head ♥ how I got to be 550 pounds ♥ the two(ish) year update ♥

The Dirrrrty South
♥ the great southern fried adventure ♥ six months in the south ♥ one year in the south ♥

Life in General
♥ 27th birthday stripper extravaganza ♥ 28th birthday monkey madness ♥ personals ♥
♥ naafa-la fashion show ♥ b is for belly ♥ stay in the loony bin ♥ 50 random things ♥ 101 in 1001 ♥ learning to accept yourself ♥