Monday, July 22, 2013

Splash!

I have a very weird belly.  No, really, it’s true!  Now, I’m not saying it’s the worst belly in  the world (because there’s no such thing!), but it’s definitely a weird one.  I can’t remember ever having seen a stomach that looks like mine.  It’s an embarrassing part of my body and I’m so uncomfortable with it.  Especially when it’s exposed.  Part of my discomfort is due to weight fluctuation and the changes that causes.  You know, sagging like a motherfucker. 

But because I’ve never seen one like mine, I can’t help but see my stomach as flawed.  I see pictures of nude, fat bodies with taut, round bellies.  That’s the hardest thing…I’m no longer taut.  I’m soft and lumpy, curving, hills and valleys.  The indentations, on either side, which I think of as dimples.  I don’t know why my belly is so different.  It was always this way.  Fatter or thinner.  And I’ve never seen another like mine. 

But then I realized, maybe a lot of people have bellies like mine but they too are afraid to reveal it because they feel as if no one else has it.  I mean, why the fuck would they show their belly when I can’t do that myself?  And if my belly is an anomaly and is the weirdest ever?  Fuck it, dude, it’s mine.  So, here.  It’s me and my belly in my requisite summer outfit.  (True friends will repeatedly remind you that real breasts sag and that you look amazing.)







Bikini top:  Make A Million.  (She’s amazing and sweet and worked with me even though she’d never made one in my size.  She said she’d need measurements since, “I have not made a top of this voluptuousness.”  So cute.)
Trunks: Woman Within
Flower: Viva Dulce Marina
Sunglasses: Dollar General
Beer: Yuengling
Popsicle: Cherry

There.  Maybe now I won’t be afraid to wear it in front of people.  I like to use the internet as I would a cold pool: JUMP THE FUCK IN AND GET YOUR ASS ACCLIMATED!  NOW!

12 comments:

  1. You are so beautiful for loving yourself! I have a smile on my face because of how well you are doing. Keep loving yourself.

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    1. Awwwwww!! Thank you so much! And, damn it, I will!!

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  2. actually my own is somewhat like yours just in a different size.....Love the bikini top.

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  3. My belly actually looks a lot like yours. I always thought it was normal, but then I dont go looking at a lot of guys bellies. Legs and butt, maybe, but not bellies <3

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  4. I keep holding off on commenting on your blog because I want to craft the perfect sentences to express how much I love what you're doing. You have inspired in me the journey to become okay with my own body and to keep doing the scary things. Sometimes I actually get shivers from the truth and beauty that radiate from your blog posts. You are truly a wondrous creature. Thank you.

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    1. You've made my eyes fill with tears. This means everything to me. Thank you so much. And you never ever ever have to wait to find the right words. I promise, they're all "right." (By that I mean do what I say, not what I do since I do the exact same thing and never reply to emails because of it!)

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  5. My belly looks just like yours! For real! Unless of course you are really into having a unique belly and in that case mine looks nothing like yours...ahem ; )

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  6. My belly looks much like yours, just in another size, as somebody said above. I think many people have this shape, only we don't put up pics of it out of embarrassment, just as you suspected.

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    1. Then you have a most awesome belly too!!

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