I have a very weird belly. No, really, it’s true! Now, I’m not saying it’s the worst belly in the world (because there’s no such thing!), but it’s definitely a weird one. I can’t remember ever having seen a stomach that looks like mine. It’s an embarrassing part of my body and I’m so uncomfortable with it. Especially when it’s exposed. Part of my discomfort is due to weight fluctuation and the changes that causes. You know, sagging like a motherfucker.
But because I’ve never seen one like mine, I can’t help but see my stomach as flawed. I see pictures of nude, fat bodies with taut, round bellies. That’s the hardest thing…I’m no longer taut. I’m soft and lumpy, curving, hills and valleys. The indentations, on either side, which I think of as dimples. I don’t know why my belly is so different. It was always this way. Fatter or thinner. And I’ve never seen another like mine.
But then I realized, maybe a lot of people have bellies like mine but they too are afraid to reveal it because they feel as if no one else has it. I mean, why the fuck would they show their belly when I can’t do that myself? And if my belly is an anomaly and is the weirdest ever? Fuck it, dude, it’s mine. So, here. It’s me and my belly in my requisite summer outfit. (True friends will repeatedly remind you that real breasts sag and that you look amazing.)
Bikini top: Make A Million. (She’s amazing and sweet and worked with me even though she’d never made one in my size. She said she’d need measurements since, “I have not made a top of this voluptuousness.” So cute.)
Trunks: Woman Within
Flower: Viva Dulce Marina
Sunglasses: Dollar General
There. Maybe now I won’t be afraid to wear it in front of people. I like to use the internet as I would a cold pool: JUMP THE FUCK IN AND GET YOUR ASS ACCLIMATED! NOW!