Monday, September 29, 2014

San Jose, Seattle, & Las Vegas

I took next to no photos on this trip; I'm not sure what that was all about.

In the first airport my shoes rubbed my feet bloody and both of the backpack's zippers broke.  Fucking Hello Kitty.  I was adorable for a minute!

Sonya and Tyler aka The Bride and Groom!  I've known Sonya for 12 years and this was our first time meeting in person!!  When I arrived to be her bridesmaid!  I can't even tell you how honored I was to be part of their wedding.  Blown away, amazed, speechlessly honored.

"I wish I could have done more.  Basically all I did was show up."  "From ALABAMA!"  "Okay, I forgot that part."

Her maid-of-honor did my hair and makeup.  "So do you want to do bright or do you want to do can't do subtle, Heidi."  Hahahahaha, truer words have never been spoken!  So she gave me bright multicolored eyes and hot pink lips!

They had their wedding at The Winchester Mystery House and, because they're giant nerds, it was book themed.  We carried hardcover copies of our favorite books down the aisle, their rings were held in a hollowed out book, the table bouquets were made from book pages, the cake was a book, the guestbook was blank book spines...  Needless to say, "You realize that if I ever get married, I'm stealing your theme."  He walked down the aisle to the Superman theme and she to an instrumental of GnR's Sweet Child o' Mine.  The ceremony was short and lovely.  The food was amazing.  It was so much fun!  It was just all so laid back and authentic and joyous!  It was wonderful.

The maid-of-honor and my fellow bridesmaids!

I finally met Poliana and she has the greatest tattoo ever.  SHE'S A LIBRARIAN!


And drank watermelon beer!

Sarra and Mike!

We went to a showing of The Apple.  I...I don't even.

Statue of Lenin!

We went to the Pigs Peace Sanctuary and petted and fed rescued piggies!  Yeah, won't be eating pork ever again.

Um, did you know pigs could grow to this size?!

Cassandra!!  Oh my god, I love her so much!  We met the first time when she and her husband oh so kindly put me up for the night as I drove through Texas on my way to Alabama.  I just adore her.

I went to a kink party for introverts at The Center For Sex Positive Culture with an internet friend.  It was a slow party (not much play) but I had a lot of fun hanging out with her!  Plus she had a sub rub my neck and shoulders and fetch me things.  So, near the beginning of the night I point to this guy and say, "I'd really like to make out with him."  We mention it a few times through the night, trying to figure out a way to get him to come over, but don't actually go through with anything.  Then at the end of the night, he makes eye contact and comes over and introduces himself.  We're all talking and I bust out with, "I hope this isn't creepy but you're really cute!"  He says I'm cute too, chit chat chit chat chit chat, then my friend says, "...she's only here for a few more days."  At which point I say, "So if you wanted to make out with me, you should move fast."  He smiles big, comes over, takes my hand, and leads me in to the back room where all the beds are.  And that's how I ended up fucking a hot boy in Seattle.  All I could think was, god DAMN, clearly I need to be bolder on a regular basis!

I met Sonya!  I had soooo much fun with her and we got along so well!

I did my first cross-stitch project!  Sarra and I cross-stitched while watching Buffy from the beginning.  I fucked up a lot but enjoyed doing it.

Second project!  Okay, I fucked this one up a LOT a lot so I'm going to redo it.  I had no idea I'd enjoy cross-stitch so much!

You can't imagine how much I ate while in Seattle.  Sarra and Mike shoveled so much incredible vegan food into my face that I was in a near-constant coma of delicious!  Gyros, deep dish Chicago-style pizza, burritos, homemade butter, homemade jam, ice cream sandwiches, cupcakes, chocolate mousse, crab rangoon in duck sauce, pizza with kale, hot peppers, and green tomatoes, cinnamon rolls...  MY GOD.

Bye Seattle!  Don't worry, I'll be back!

Then I headed to Las Vegas, where I took no photos because I'm the worst.

Lots of cuddling and kissing.  I had a really lovely time being with him even though it was partially heartbreaking as well.  Things just aren't going to work.  For now?  I don't know if "for now" is overly optimistic but, anyway, yeah.  Heartbreak.  But it's okay, because romantic partnership doesn't determine my worth, you know?  So I had an emotional meltdown and felt completely rejected but, honestly, I'm accepting it a lot quicker than I expected.'s okay.  It really is okay.  I finally got to spend time with him and be held by him and I saw Girls and I was able to hang out with the mutual friend who introduced us...  It was a good time.  Oh and I had decided to make one of his fantasies happen and ended up with it being the kinkiest and hottest sexual experience of my entire life so that was an awesome bonus!

I came home and collapsed for several days, basically falling apart completely.  I saw the chiropractor and got a massage a few days later so that helped a lot.  As wonderful as it was to see everyone, I was really happy to be back.  I missed these furry bastards!

Flying While Fat
All in all, the travel itself was good.  I have zero issues with flying, aside from the space issues, which are why I don't fly.  This time I flew Southwest and bought two seats for each flight.  If you buy two seats for yourself, SW refunds you the cost of the extra one after the flight!  It was a no-brainer for me.  A) There's no way I'd be even remotely comfortable sitting next to someone with the armrest down and b) I know a lot of fat+ folks disagree with me here but, I absolutely do not want to encroach on anyone else's space, even if that means spending more.  If you buy yourself two seats you also get to preboard!  So I was able to snag the front row, giving myself even more space.  The person who sat in the row's  third seat loved me as they got to share in that empty seat as well.  I definitely needed seatbelt extenders but no attendant has ever been an asshole about it.  I avoided the plane bathrooms like the plague so I ended up dehydrated but, whatev, worth it to me.  If you have mobility issues, you can get wheelchair-ed to and from the gates (just call the airline and set it up ahead of time).  I did that at a couple of the airports due to pain and Hello Kitty induced wounds.  Just don't forget to tip!  I tip high since, well, I always do and, hi, I'm a heavy load!


  1. Heidi, I'm so glad you had such a wonderful trip!

    But I have an embarrassing story for you. So, I was in Seattle at Pike Place Market and I saw a girl who LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU - dyed hair, cute dress...everything. So I approach calmly and was like "Heidi?" And she turned around and said, "Yes?" Her face didn't look quite right so I was all, "Do you run a blog?" And she says, suspiciously, "Yes." And I'm just about to get excited when she goes "...but only my friends and family read it." So I asked her a couple more questions and she wasn't you. She was very nice, though. I shook her hand and introduced myself anyway and then tried to play it cool as I was like, "OMG, what did I just do?!" Your doppleganger named Heidi in Seattle is very confused now.