Something weird happened. I woke up, unable to breathe and I saw things that weren’t there. I saw people standing over my bed, people staring at me, people trying to touch me, walls that aren’t there, the room reconfigured. I was trying so hard to not scream, my heart racing, gasping for air. I had to force myself to touch them to prove they weren’t there. I was too scared to try to touch the people around me - thinking I was, literally, about to die - so I pushed my hands through the wall that wasn’t there. On the verge of hysterics, almost in tears, I had to turn on the lights until my heart stopped racing and I could drug myself back asleep. Before I woke up, my roommate heard me making noises in my sleep. This was the second time this happened. I’m hoping it was just bad dreams.
Hallucinations: Just What I Need Added to My Psychiatric Problems.
In my therapy group one of the members told me how much she appreciated me, the insight I give, and how sincere I always am. And that I’m a really big reason she attends group. She actually started crying. It blew me away.
I did some new kink stuff that I may share pictures from once I receive them. I’ve been more social lately, which is awesome. It doesn’t happen often so I need to act on it!
Tomorrow I start training to volunteer with a domestic violence organization. I’m nervous but looking forward to it. I need something to get me out of the house and give me some purpose.