Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Stuff & Junk

I am so goddamn giddy right now.  My friend is going to help me with the costs so I can take the train back to California, meet her for the first time in person, and be in her wedding!  She’s having me stay with them before the wedding and then I’m cat sitting while they’re on their honeymoon.  We’ve known each either and been super close for 10 years but never managed to meet up.  And now we will!  And I get to be in a wedding!  I’ve never even been to a wedding before.  I’m just terribly excited and I have almost a year to go!  Having someone love me that much just…  Yeah.  I love her dearly and feel so fucking lucky to be part of such an important day of her life.

In September 2014, if you live near San Jose and don’t mind having to be the one to drive, we should have lunch or get a drink!  Bay area people: I’m looking at you!

I swam a mile.  Dude.  72 laps.  I pushed hard to finish.  At lap 68 I realized, oh my god, I’m going to do it!  And had a goofy smile on my face for the remaining laps.  As I walked to my car I thought, holy shit…I can do anything!  It’s amazing how stubborn I can be about certain things.  As I was finishing the mile, I had the thought: Baby Mermaid Level Achieved!

I’m going to a Halloween party!  I’m super excited about my costume, it’s going to be rad.  Even if people don’t know who I am, I’ll still look amazing.

I hadn’t been to any kink parties or events in two years.  Partially due to finances, partially due to depression, partially due to my believing no one would notice anyway.  The owner of the space told me I didn’t have to pay to come so I went.  I’d forgotten how much the community means to me.  People did miss me.  The owner told me after that she’d never seen me look so happy and calm and at peace.  And that I should come back more often, at no charge.  I had a wonderful time and did new things I’ve been wanting to try for years.  And I love how often I’m told that the noises I make while being beaten are sexy as fuck.

I shaved the back of a friend’s head for her.  The look on my face is: oh my god, please let me not have fucked this up.

It’s weird to have people worry about me.  I have Mama Bears in my life who mean the world to me but it still surprises me.  Growing up with zero parental interest causes me to be confused when people express concern.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful!  Just something I’m not used to.  Like, wait…you actually care if I live or die!?

My roommates are moving out in December.  I think I’m going to scrub down the place and work on getting repairs made.  Also maybe try to figure out some inexpensive decor ideas.  I know I’m going to want to nest.

I have somehow lost almost my entire harem.  It was like a mass Heidi exodus, I swear to god.  Really weird timing.  Oh well, ebb and flow.

I haven’t read much this month.

Books Read in October
Ron Jeremy: The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz by Ron Jeremy
The Scorch Trials by James Dashner
The Death Cure by James Dashner
Drop Dead Healthy: One Man's Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection by AJ Jacobs

TV Discovered  in October
American Horror Story
Animal Planet's Fatal Attractions
Deadly Women
Full Throttle Saloon (“So this whole thing is 1/2 naked women and Billy Ray Cyrus?”)

Movies Discovered  in October
Paris is Burning
This Film is Not Yet Rated
Machete Maidens Unleashed!
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2
Hercules (Disney)
The Emperor’s New Groove
An Extremely Goofy Movie
Machete Kills (we both needed ultra violence and gratuitous tits)


  1. sincere question: why do you enjoy having pain inflicted on you when you already suffer from chronic pain? doesn't that make things worse?

    1. A LOT of people ask this and I'm totally going to answer! I'm working on a post about kink/bdsm and I'll definitely include that question!