Nine Things I Really Wanted to Post on Facebook or Twitter During My Two Week Hiatus

1) When I said I had to read it due to the title alone, Sonya bought me "By My Father’s Beard, Suck My Cock!”  Sonya is the best.  And the writing was pretty good!  I even reviewed it on Amazon! *

2) About a gazillion quotes from Workaholics, Archer, MST3K, and Bob’s Burgers.

3) I went to Wasted Wednesday twice and didn’t drink at all!  Not even when I was handed one;  I said no thank you.  Not a single sip and STILL had fun!  Fun I can actually remember! **

4) I made money based on how many whacks I could take from a large wooden paddle.

5) My roommates told me they refer to me as “The Heidster” when talking about me and it’s the most adorable thing EVER!

6) My gynecologist and her nurse talked about how perfect my cervix is and how lovely the rest of my inner lady parts are.  Now THAT’S a compliment! ***

7) I now have the grumpiest cat in the world on my nails. ****

8) Oh, god, help me.  My roommates keep hearing me have sex.  Speaking of...

9) My sex life continues to be exploding with awesomeness.


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** The bartender gave me my soda for free because I think he thought I was the designated driver.  And we played a huge game of Cards Against Humanity.

*** I actually looked forward to the appointment because she is an AMAZING doctor and the first gynecologist I’ve not felt anxiety and dread about seeing (even the kind and compassionate ones I've had before.)  But more so than that, I just kept reminding myself, “This is you taking care of yourself.  This is you advocating for your health.  This is so important and you can do it!”

****
 

You can totally get awesome nails for yourself!