Wednesday, February 22, 2012

So, I've been meaner lately. No, not meaner. Just, less likely to take shit. And you feels pretty awesome! I had no idea! I'm not letting myself be belittled or pushed around anymore and it feels incredible! Hello, backbone, it's awfully nice to meet you!

I talked to some lawyers re: bankruptcy. Lawyer #1 made me feel immediately at ease.

Me: I'm really nervous.
Lawyer: Why are you nervous?
Me: I'm just afraid you're going to look at my paperwork and think I'm the most horrible and irresponsible person who ever lived.
Lawyer: I've been doing this 32 years and have never seen anything that surprised me. Some people are in this position because they make stupid decisions. But most? Things come up. People have medical bills. Cars break down. Jobs are lost. You help out family. You lend money to friends who never pay you back.

I almost started crying because that's exactly what happened. When I was filling out the paperwork I realized how many thousands of dollars were medical bills. Some of it was pure stupidity. But a lot of it was just life falling apart and shit coming up.

We talked for awhile. He says I'm the perfect candidate and it would be harmless once we filed. I asked him, “Okay, this may be a weird question but... If I go ahead with this, is there any way I can send you money as I have it? Because I know me; I'm not good having money in my possession!” And he said there absolutely was. We could easily set up a trust account for that very purpose.

I went to see Lawyer #2 for more advice and a price comparison. Ugh. He ended up scaring the shit out of me with completely false information. Thankfully I ran it by Lawyer #1 and Google, Esq and found out he was being completely inaccurate. Fucker.

So, I'm going with Lawyer #1. I basically need to come up with $1,000.

If you have any desire to buy sex toys or something from Shana Logic, using the links to your right would be incredibly helpful for me. As would using my Amazon Affiliate Link. I should make a button for that. Or, if you're interested in advertising, that'd be a huge help as well! I turned down advertising from a few weight loss websites but have applied for a few places I like so hopefully those go through soon.

I'm going to set up the trust account with his office and just chuck extra money at it whenever I can. My goal is to file by the end of the year. Fingers crossed!

My dating life is...interesting. I'll update you when I know what the hell is going on myself.

My pain has been really out of control lately. Getting back to exercising and doing my physical therapy regularly will help a lot, I'm sure.

I start DBT tomorrow. Since writing about it quite a few people have said that it changed/saved their lives. So I'm optimistic. Nervous but optimistic. I've decided that, even if it's difficult, I'm staying with it for a year. It's The Year of Heidi, damn it!


  1. Hey Heidi, let's talk soon. I can't do it right now, but later in the year maybe we can work something out for a temporary ad placement for Queer Feminism on your site.

  2. I have a friend who did DBT and she says it was a great thing for her. Good for you, chica!

  3. I went to a hospital where they did DBT and it was amazing. It really changed my life a lot, and I'm still trying to incorporate into what I do. I hope it helps you out! :)

  4. Also did DBT. I am a different, better human being than I was before. Still struggle and always will but I don't hurt myself and others...and the depression is...a brighter color, if that makes sense. Good luck with it.

  5. I worked with a bankruptcy attorney for about two years and he was the single best coworker I HAVE EVER HAD. Here's hoping your experience is just as good!