Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Fuck Shame with Jaclyn Friedman

I talk with Jaclyn Friedman – author of What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety and editor of Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rapeabout kink, porn, boundaries, pubic hair, and the fucking of shame.

Fuck Shame with Jaclyn Friedman on vimeo,

[This post is a stop in Jaclyn’s blog tour about her new book, What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl’s Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety. Be sure to check out yesterday’s stop at Yes Means Yes and her next stop tomorrow at Our Bodies, Our Blog.]

For my participation, I received two autographed copies of the book. And one of them is going to be yours!

In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman—co-editor of Yes Means Yes—gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world’s confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we’re failures if we don’t act sexy, but we’re sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve “whatever we get” if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality.

Educational and interactive, What You Really Really Want includes revealing quizzes, creative exercises, and reality-based advice about sex and sexuality today. With Friedman’s informed advice to guide them, readers will build new skills for safely expressing their sexuality with lovers and explore effective ways to talk about tricky issues with family and friends—and learn how to make the world a little safer for everyone else’s sexuality along the way.

How to Enter
♥ Leave a comment telling me what you're hoping to get out of this book.

Additional Entries
♥ Post about this giveaway on your blog/website/facebook/tumblr/etc. You get one entry for each post you make. Limit one per site.

♥ Tweet about it! Limit one tweet per day for three days.

♥ Make sure you include your email address in all entries.

♥ Create a separate comment for every one of your entries. Example: you post about it on facebook and tweet it three times. That means you need to make four comments on here, linking to each one. I'll be using a random number generator so if they're all batched together in one comment, they'll only count as one. Make sense?

♥ This contest is open to everyone, anywhere and will be shipped from me.

♥ This contest will end Wednesday November 23rd at midnight EST.

♥ Good luck!

If you don't want to risk not having this amazing book in your life you can go buy your own copy of What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety! And, while you're at it, get Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape! For yourself and others in your life!

Thank you, Jaclyn, for an awesome experience!


  1. I can't leave my name but if my story wins, I will send you my email address. When I was 18 I was kicked out of home and was forced into working as an escort. I had only slept with 1 other person and hadn't even had an orgasm with a man before. I worked in the industry for 2 years and managed to work myself out of there and am now successful but I have never been able to gauge sexually healthy behaviour or figure out what I desire. I feel guilty or dirty about most sexual things and hope some day that I will be able to enjoy my body as The Universe intended. I watched your video blog post and it rang true with alot of the experiences and thoughts I have think Feminist who likes porn etc but then not feeling good about it. I'd love to read this book. Thank you for being so open about these things, it makes it easier. xx

  2. I hope to learn something new...cliche but true :-)


    Andrea.Harbison at

  3. I would like to enter your giveaway. What I would like to get out of this book is tips on asserting myself more in bed and a better understanding my sexuality.

    My email is

  4. Also, I reblogged your post on tumblr for a second entry.

    Email is

  5. i will buy her books anyway but figured hey why not! i am one of the most sexual people i know and it always shocks people when they find out that i actually have no sex drive because they think if anyone would have an amazing sex life it'd be me. sadly due to the evils of psychiatric meds i've had no sex drive for at least ten years and at 25 that is kind of depressing at times. i know i wil find a time in my life where i am ready to sort out my personal sexual issues and i suspect it'll align nicely while sorting out my career because sexuality is a passion and i plan to base my career and life around it. i would love to read her books to give me another stepping stone as coming off one med six months ago i have noticed my sex drive may be slowly reawakening and it's an rather terrifying but exciting thing.

  6. I would like a better handle on my sexuality and how it is defined by society.

  7. I would hope to get a new, fresh and healthy perspective on my own sexuality after reading the book. I think there's been a shift towards regarding women's sex lives as something normal, healthy and awesome, and Jaclyn's book is one more really important addition to that conversation.

  8. And because I'm severely under-caffeinated and forgot the first time around, my email address is baileythebookworm at gmail dot com :)

  9. I'd like to win this book because the quizzes and exercises seem very interesting and a great chance to learn something new! Thanks!


  10. I'd love to read this book and get tips on how to be more assertive and confident in bed.


  11. Watching the interview showed me exactly why i should be interested in this book. I don't know what I want when I get asked that question...and I want to find out how to better reach that place where I know that answer.

    e-mail is my screename at

  12. I would love to read this book because as I type this, I am at that point in my life where I am trying to form some sort of sexual identity. I feel like this book could help. Or at the very least, I know it understands how I feel when it says "we’re failures if we don’t act sexy"

  13. I tweeted it :)!/KateDelaurier/status/137556092841496577

  14. I Tumblr'd it!

  15. I would love to read this book because I am 6 years out of a 20 year marriage where my sexual identity came from the ex and what he wanted. Now, I am looking at a new relationship with a new man and I would love to have some idea of what I want and how to tell him.

    Also, thanks for being willing to talk, frankly, about everything. You totally rock!!!

    email is aallen66 at gmail dot com

  16. I'd like to get over my fear of sex and open myself up to exploring my sexuality and recognizing or identifying my sexual needs. I've lost all semblance of a sexual identity and have no clue what "sexy" means anymore.

    im dot so dot rad at gmail dot com

  17. I used to work with Jaclyn at New Words in Cambridge. It was great seeing her here!

  18. I tweeted it again!!/KateDelaurier/status/137990920233697280

  19. And I tweeted it again!!/KateDelaurier/status/138349532021927937