I had big plans this weekend! And then had the crushing realization that I'd taken on more than I can manage. But first the good!
After getting totally lost and having to have a concierge direct me to the hotel, I met Michaela!!!
She was in Atlanta with the National Women's Studies Association's annual conference. We ate lunch, we wandered around the hotel, we hung out in her room, she snuck me into a panel on fat studies she was moderating where I ran into none other than Hanne Blank; whose book signing I was attending in a few hours.
Knowing me and my shyness all too well, Michaela said, “Heidi! Have you introduced yourself to Hanne yer!?” Ducking my head, I squeaked, “No...” She remembered the video I made in praise of Big, Big Love so that made me happy. She was so awesome and bad ass and nice that it just delighted me. I was all swoony.
The panel was really interesting and I'm really thinking about trying to go to the conference next year. It'll be held in Oakland and I have so many people in that area that I need/want to visit. ½ a dozen off the top of my head! Maybe I can make that happen. We shall see.
A few hours later we were all going to the Big, Big Love signing. The group was taking a cab and I was driving myself because I had dinner plans straight afterward. I got so unbelievably hella lost in downtown Atlanta. I was so late and my joint pain was so out of control (and oh my god my shoe was making it feel like my right pinky toe was about to fall off) and I'd already met Ms Hanne earlier that I just decided to give up. Michaela was nice enough to say yes when I begged her to get a book signed for me. Did I tell you I loved Michaela? Because I totally did. She's so sweet and smart and inspiring and knowledgeable and welcoming! I tend to get really nervous around new people and shut down/not speak but I felt comfortable with her immediately. I was reserved still, of course, but nowhere near crazy-shy Heidi!
Then I headed on an hour drive further outside of Atlanta and (say it with me) got lost again. But, luckily, the friend of a friend I was meeting was able to direct me to his house. He made me the best steak I've ever had. Ever. As well as grilled Portabello mushrooms and zucchini and mashed acorn squash.
It was after 1am before our conversation and ass whoopin' ended. I took some Ambien and collapsed in his guest room for a few hours. I woke around 5 and got up around 7 and, having been told to help myself to anything in the fridge I had steak and mashed squash for breakfast. Oh, hells yes, I sure did! Headed home a few hours later.
By the time I got home, around noon, I was hurting so fucking badly. Not from the beating but from the conference walking and chairs and from that stupid toe-squashing shoe and general fibro and back/hip pain. And the two+ hour car ride felt like a million.
I was supposed to go to dinner with a friend and then to a kink party and hour+ away but I was so tired and so sick of driving and so sore that I canceled on both and just snuggled in bed in sweats and didn't regret a single second of my sloth! I'm realizing that, right now, I can manage one day of activity in a weekend. Two is just impossible for me. And that's okay...I just need to plan better. And not beat myself up for having limits. Which I do, constantly. I would never think less of someone else for skipping something because they could barely stand yet I do of myself. It's ridiculous.
I'm sad I didn't get a geeky picture with Hanne Blank but there's always next time!
So that was my weekend. And in just a few hours I'll be doing something that will be posted on here Wednesday. I'm really excited about it.
Next weekend I have one day/night of fun planned so I think I can handle it! And I will wear different shoes. And I will make out with someone awesome, damn it!