Saturday, April 3, 2010

Everything is Coming Up Milhouse

Looks like I’m moving in with my former teacher and her husband next month. But because her son has moved back in, I’ll just be sleeping on a cot in the exercise room. No biggie. Makes me more likely to work out, hopefully! And I would sleep in a car in their driveway if it meant being able to save money and not pay rent for a few months.

Then she and I polished off two bottles of wine and watched Project Runway. I’m home, people, I’m home.

I might have the opportunity to move in with my most beloved Sonya in a few months. Up in San Jose. I need to streamline my possessions big time and then save enough to move up there. Regardless of where I go I’ll be moving from a two-bedroom, two-bathroom house to one room. And that means a lot of purging.

I think living with people would be good for me. I isolate so much and I know it only worsens my depression.

I had a really good time with a girl I met on OKCupid. She’s pretty damn fabulous and we’re going out again.

I feel as if my life, maybe, is no longer rocketing towards hell. Like, maybe, things can improve and I can survive this.

God, I hope so.

P.S. I’d totally forgotten they have a pool. Boo-yeah!


  1. Awesome!!! Purging means $ in your pocket too :)

  2. Living around people is only going to be good for you. It does suck that you have to get rid of a lot of stuff but I have been purging too and it can be oddly liberating if you do it right. Plus the brokeness and alone-ness will ease up and that can only lead to good things.

    I am so happy for you, baby. I am looking forward to seeing where you go and what happens

  3. I am so glad that that things are starting to look up for you , you deserve some happiness!

    If you move to SJ, maybe we could hang out sometime. I don't live there anymore, but I visit my family and friends often!

  4. I am so happy you are making this move!!! YAY!

  5. Re: streamlining, how about a garage/yard sale?

  6. You will survive this. Thanks to the teacher's offer, you can get some strength back and some money saved, I hope. Maybe moving to a new place or a new town will give you a fresh start too.

  7. I am so glad you have a place to be.

  8. I'm sure that living with your teacher friend will give you plenty of time to get stronger and save some money. And wouldn't it be great if you can move to a new place in a new town. Might be just what you need to move on and start fresh. Good luck.

  9. I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I've read your LJ on and off for a while now and it does occur to me, as you post about your travails, that you own quite a lot of stuff.

    I kinda 'get' this; my father was a hoarder too (I don't think as severely as your parents) and I grew up in a messy, chaotic house. That can mess with one's perceptions of what's needed, what's sufficient, etc etc (not to mention that there are multi-billion-dollar industries devoted to making your purchasing decisions for you).

    I figure I went in way the opposite direction - experiencing the shame-feeling of hoarding gave me a real need to have a fairly tidy house as an adult. Also? I'm an emigrant. I know exactly what the bulk of my possessions weigh. I am really, really out to avoid accumulating too much stuff, in case I have to do it all over again. Since I emigrated two years ago I've spent under $100 total on clothing, underwear/socks and accessories. I still wear clothes I've had for 10 years.

    Say you were moving to another country and (with the help of a kind friend) you were able to carry 200lbs-weight of possessions, plus whatever you could fit into a carry-on bag & whatever you can comfortably wear on your back. Seriously, whenever I see your sales posts / your posts that talk about 'purging' your possessions, I wonder how you'd handle doing that.

    Not that being stringently ascetic is a completely good thing - I know I am way too far over on that spectrum and it sometimes hurts, a lot. You could make analogies between disordered eating and disordered possessing, maybe - wait, you already have, in that the word you used ("purge") is more usually used to describe a kind of eating disorder.

  10. Sounds very positive. Stay strong! Can I friend you on Facebook?