tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post897219272943998104..comments2023-12-22T04:15:11.478-06:00Comments on Attack of the Sugar Monster!: Current Realitysharneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14805502805674889336noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-2860408892548317952012-08-17T20:21:03.562-05:002012-08-17T20:21:03.562-05:00Hi Heidi, I just found your blog today and am in a...Hi Heidi, I just found your blog today and am in awe. I majored in journalism so my writing is competent, but the profundity that your words contain is unbelievable. So so many people (and a few who have written comments) lament about the fact that describing depression is near impossible...especially in a way that would evoke some kind of sympathy in family or friends who do not suffer. I have never been able to articulate some of the things you've written, I just had these vague feelings about my depression that I could not quite form into words, but after reading this these feelings became so much more tangible and real and descriptive. Wow, thank you. Have you considered writing a memoir or anything? Kaylenhttp://www.twitter.com/kaylenkaylennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-32787379161092121992012-07-15T19:34:27.794-05:002012-07-15T19:34:27.794-05:00Heidi, one of my therapists told me once to get ri...Heidi, one of my therapists told me once to get rid of the "shoulds". At the time I thought it was stupid, but it makes so much sense now. Shoulds are negative and encourage comparrison and self-dissapointment. She said to use "want" instead because they become positive goals. I should eat better vs. I want to eat better, and this is what I'll do to get there. Just some assvice for when you come out of the darkness again. Love you so much! -SarahAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-17053319222573229672012-07-15T03:00:35.413-05:002012-07-15T03:00:35.413-05:00Love you. xoLove you. xoit's me ...Twinkie Chan!https://www.blogger.com/profile/14787688304491078125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-76937204971401270542012-07-14T19:49:00.905-05:002012-07-14T19:49:00.905-05:00Heidi,
You offer yourself openly and honestly. Th...Heidi,<br /><br />You offer yourself openly and honestly. That in itself is an amazing gift that provides others hope and understanding. The depth of your depression that takes you to places that seem to feel so lonely and dark. The constant med roundabout is hard. But you live, and your words inspire and offer insight and strength. I hope you remember the importance of your words and writing make a difference to others you touch. <br /><br />Lori <br />loricde@gmail.comLoriKShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11048103994629107790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-11629542857183146182012-07-14T07:50:51.899-05:002012-07-14T07:50:51.899-05:00Heidi,
I am so sorry to do an anonymous comment. I...Heidi,<br />I am so sorry to do an anonymous comment. I have been reading your blog for years. More than anything I want to thank you for writing this post. I have struggled with depression for about 10 years, and I have the hardest time trying to describe it to people. It is exhausting to try and make them understand...and pointless, since I don't really understand it myself. They never get it and they end up being irritated with me, because I am that person that sits and looks miserable and seems to never have any fun. I have had a good life, I had a very normal childhood and had great parents. I graduated school, got my dream job, will be getting married fairly soon. I'm lucky. But I can't be happy, and it makes me hate myself, because there's no reason I shouldn't be able to. I've done the same things with the meds...so many meds and combinations, they work, then they don't, then I wake up one day tired of having to depend on them to function. I try to stop taking them and it never works. Never. I always have to go back. It makes me feel weak. And they have side effects, too. I have no libido, I feel numb about everything, I'm worried that I won't live up to my fiance's expectations, that I'll be stuck in bed unable to do anything, that I will never want to be intimate, that he will realize he's not happy and leave me.<br />I'm sorry for rambling...it's just that this is truly the first time I've heard anybody describe this situation and had it make sense. I'm sitting here crying because in a way, it makes me feel better that to someone, it DOES make sense. Part of me wants to have my fiance read it and part of me is scared to. I am truly so sorry for your suffering. And I know how it is to not hear or not want to hear what people say when they try to comfort you. I do the same thing. You don't have to take it to heart, but I just want to say it. I think you are an amazing person. You have overcome so much more than I ever have, and you truly are stronger than you know. Thank you for this post. Thank you for giving us a voice and for making me feel OK about suffering from this. I truly wish you the best and I hope that you find something that works for you. I'm scared that it might last forever too...I guess all we can do is hope for the best and watch re-runs of terrible 80's TV. Lots of love to you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-69163441639249635552012-07-14T00:47:11.210-05:002012-07-14T00:47:11.210-05:00Just want to offer support, love and hugs! (((((((...Just want to offer support, love and hugs! (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))VLMnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-74029551642004254422012-07-13T22:41:05.738-05:002012-07-13T22:41:05.738-05:00Thank you for such a vulnerable post. Your courage...Thank you for such a vulnerable post. Your courage and honesty is inspiring. I just started my second med and so far so good. But I did have a bad week, last week. They warned me it would happen, and I think I didn't want to believe them. I felt so sane for the first time in a long time, it must have been denial. But there it is. <br /><br />Both of my kids have broken brains (different kinds of busted), and I remind myself that if they can tough through, than so can I. <br /><br />Definitely ask for samples - all of my kids' specialist have told me to do that when money is tight. They have always been happy to give us whatever we need.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02134232859221845812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-23297110952530256252012-07-13T22:26:21.075-05:002012-07-13T22:26:21.075-05:00I know that nothing anyone says makes a difference...I know that nothing anyone says makes a difference....I know, because I've been there and been there. But at least knowing I'm not the only one whose brain is broken makes me feel a little better. <br /><br />You have kitties now. That helps. Mine have saved me from the brink lots of times. Writing helps. Therapy helps. And ask your doctor about free samples of new meds...they usually have that shit laying around. Mine has given me tons of samples - he gave me like 3 months worth of Cymbalta. If you haven't already tried all the ones with generics (I know Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, Wellbutrin all have a generic), see if they will do that...most of the generics are only $4 or $10 at Wal-Mart. I think Walgreens may have a half-off prescription discount program. <br /><br />Seriously, though, ask about the free samples. That's saved my ass many times over the years.goingloopyhttp://goingloopy.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-75538138704006875242012-07-13T22:03:06.119-05:002012-07-13T22:03:06.119-05:00<3<3Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11714534817341478347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-32195048661543247652012-07-13T21:30:35.427-05:002012-07-13T21:30:35.427-05:00Yes! This is so incredibly true. I haven't b...Yes! This is so incredibly true. I haven't been as dedicated to my individual and group therapies as I should/want to be. Thank you so much. I'm definitely going to refocus on both of those things. <3Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11714534817341478347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-36636901684659493082012-07-13T21:26:11.034-05:002012-07-13T21:26:11.034-05:00SO well written, thank you (from a fellow sufferer...SO well written, thank you (from a fellow sufferer of mental health stuff, and fellow student of DBT).<br /><br />To me, the fact you are well enough to be able to journal about this, and to attend your DBT group, is a sign that you are progressing, even if you feel you aren't.<br /><br />I've gone down, up, down, up, down more times than I care to remember with depression and anxiety, but for me personally, it's group and individual therapy that has helped me most with my recovery from mental health problems and alcoholism. If you have a level of insight (and man.. you have GREAT insight) i think groups are THE BEST. Medications might stop working, but educating yourself about what's going on in your head and how to deal will never be a waste of time. That's my 2 cents anyway.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-64576720323503422142012-07-13T19:05:50.397-05:002012-07-13T19:05:50.397-05:00This is a really good idea, thank you.This is a really good idea, thank you.Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11714534817341478347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-41856578754935753032012-07-13T19:05:30.657-05:002012-07-13T19:05:30.657-05:00God, it really does. And even when you know it...God, it really does. And even when you know it's lying...you still believe it!Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11714534817341478347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-41428365518659586142012-07-13T19:04:21.093-05:002012-07-13T19:04:21.093-05:00Depression Lies. The Bloggess is right about that...Depression Lies. The Bloggess is right about that. It lies and tells you crap that isn't true.Erin Bhttp://bikestheuniverseandeverything.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-26529356299492644352012-07-13T17:41:31.368-05:002012-07-13T17:41:31.368-05:00I am so thankful that you have the ability and wil...I am so thankful that you have the ability and willingness to describe this. My Mom is bi-polar, and while her experience and yours are different, your words allow me to understand just a little more about how to cope. How to support her and myself. She does not have the way with words like you do. This bit really spoke to me and gives me a new way to look at my relationship with my mom and open up a little more, if that makes sense.<br />"We know how hard you're trying. We know how desperately you're searching to find the right thing to say or do. And we would give anything, anything, for you to be able to fix it. Because we love you too. We don't want to be a burden on you. We don't want to be that friend who has nothing good to say. Who has no ability to give back to you, no matter how badly we want to."<br />I am so glad you are on this earth.<br />Thank you for continuing to exist.<br />Jedi hugs if you like them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-90381250281090597942012-07-13T17:23:49.441-05:002012-07-13T17:23:49.441-05:00I know when you are in this deep, you don't w...I know when you are in this deep, you don't want to hear any suggestions because you already believe they won't work anyway so why bother. But how about this? Print a copy of this blog entry and give it to your therapist. Let her read your thoughts. You express yourself so well. And remember you have two little cats to be there for...you can't leave them alone. They have no one else.Terrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01152768788895070566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-14518013402032244452012-07-13T17:17:47.256-05:002012-07-13T17:17:47.256-05:00Oh hon, I understand. I do. 20 years of major depr...Oh hon, I understand. I do. 20 years of major depressive disorder, here. I just slipped out of a good week and into a depressed day today, and almost serendipitously I see this blog entry of yours at the same time. <br /><br />Thanks for writing out what so many of us feel but can't figure out how to say. I can hear you :)Snackmasterhttp://the-snackmaster.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.com