tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post8853124137775720172..comments2023-12-22T04:15:11.478-06:00Comments on Attack of the Sugar Monster!: Ugly Fat Bitchsharneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14805502805674889336noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-41015076002382165932012-08-31T09:49:55.324-05:002012-08-31T09:49:55.324-05:00Hi, I found this blog through a friend of mine aft...Hi, I found this blog through a friend of mine after I linked one of my self-acceptance posts to her - she linked you to me. Love this post. So empowering. As a fat woman, I have felt and heard all you say here. Enough is enough. Beauty isn't conventionally-based, never has been, never will be. Awesome.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-29240910929471109582012-08-28T21:51:43.953-05:002012-08-28T21:51:43.953-05:00Oh Heidi, you speak to my own heart. I think even ...Oh Heidi, you speak to my own heart. I think even the most societally-acceptably "beautiful" amongst us has times where they feel this way, or at least that's what I'm told. So much to say, but Pink says it best: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD1Hw9k&list=UUXJDX1KK6t121Z9FLhu5o2A&index=20&feature=plcp (NSFW)!Jennifernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-75389831789895362372012-08-26T15:44:26.780-05:002012-08-26T15:44:26.780-05:00Occasional reader, first-time poster; pls forgive ...Occasional reader, first-time poster; pls forgive anonymity (not being a regular, I don't think I've earned the right to speak -- doubly so as I'm gonna topic-shift a bit, which is rude enuf, but even more so for a stranger).<br />One of the most blatant indicators of how far we still are from gender equity is the relative freedom from looksism that men enjoy.<br />The image of the fat &/or old &/or unattractive man who's with a [by conventional terms] hottie woman is totally cliched, a standard teevee trope -- but an accepted one because there are so many real-life examples of it.<br />The usual interpretation of it (& the usual reality behind it) is that he's wealthy, usually greatly so. But not always -- there are cases in which he's got other attractive qualities that are understood to compensate for his deficit in looks: power, brilliance, hillarity are all accepted as understandable replacements.<br />The day that women are granted the same leeway and license is the day we approach societal equity, and not before -- no matter how many cents-on-the-male-dollar women's paychecks might attain.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-18107980483452860732012-08-26T07:05:03.834-05:002012-08-26T07:05:03.834-05:00I've lived with this all of my life. In fact I...I've lived with this all of my life. In fact I had weight loss surgery which helped a lot although technically I'm still overweight. However, I did it mostly because I felt crappy. It's no fun waking up every morning hurting so bad that it takes three or more naproxin to get moving. Also I had to have knee replacement surgery and docs don't like to do that kind of surgery on people who are 200lbs plus overweight. In addition, no matter how you cut it, being overweight leads to diabetes. Family members have/had this. It's not fun. So when someone suggests you lose weight, someone who cares about you, it's not necessarily bad. Having said that, it's too bad that people can't accept others. Some people are never going to be slim. I'm one of them. I've accepted that. I go to the gym on a regular basis, I'm active, I'm healthy. In addition, I really think that clothing should fit properly. That's my opinion. I don't find it attractive when anyone wears very tight clothing. I'm probably a lot older than most of your readers. I'm 65 and have lived with being called "fat and ugly" for years. Life is a lot better since I lost 100lbs. I'm still fat, but people no longer look at me with disgust. It's sad but true. Larrainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06748521588809802135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-11843319089016313912012-08-16T14:39:41.747-05:002012-08-16T14:39:41.747-05:00I want to thank you for writing this. You've d...I want to thank you for writing this. You've described something that I've felt, too: that how I look is WRONG, that my being ugly is not just unfortunate or bad luck but something that I should feel guilty about, something I owe it to everyone around me to fix. I've been thinking about your phrase 'beyond pretty' for days now, and I feel so moved by it. You're a talented writer and a great person. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-66332472618102959282012-08-16T11:16:02.938-05:002012-08-16T11:16:02.938-05:00I'm 5'9 1/2 and weight 261 pounds. When I ...I'm 5'9 1/2 and weight 261 pounds. When I got married 10 years ago, I weighed 265. My husband has always been around 150. He's cute, smart, and has a great job. And I've had some women resent me for that fact. Apparently, I don't deserve him at my weight. How dare he love me. But love me he does. There are good ones out there, I promise. But you have to believe you're worth it no matter what society tells you. You are responsible for what you tell yourself. Don't give anyone that power. Fuck what they think. By the way, I think heavier guys are hot, too. I just ended up with a skinny guy. Love is love, you know? It's deeper than the outside. I know it's hard, but don't let anyone say you're not worthy of love. You are. I am. We all are. This comment was for some of the above posters. And Heidi, you aren't even close to ugly. Beauty, like art, is subjective. Some people float your boat, and some don't. And vice versa. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-73298001344025943372012-08-15T20:30:53.317-05:002012-08-15T20:30:53.317-05:00It is counter to everything you are expressing in ...It is counter to everything you are expressing in your post so I almost hate to say it but you are extrememly cute and rad - and, I love the distinction you make of looking in the mirror and wanting to see awesome even if that doesn't mean "pretty."<br />I feel sick when I think of how much time I've devoted to appearance. Never feeling pretty but hoping to somehow "pass". So yeah. Fuck pretty. Kick pretty in the ass and push pretty down the stairs! <br /><br />(The Stevie Smith poem 'Pretty' is fucking awesome too and I wonder if you'd like it as a good grounding point about the word...it's not about pretty as appearance, it's about prettiness as a concept and how basically everyfuckingthing in the natural world is pretty. My high school English teacher tried to destroy it for everyone by reading it in a sarcatic bastard voice because it was part of our curriculum so he had to, but I shivered nonetheless in sheer joy)<br /><br />Hunter4086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-26284686964500502432012-08-15T17:20:38.487-05:002012-08-15T17:20:38.487-05:00I don't see why it has to be black OR white. I...I don't see why it has to be black OR white. Inner beauty is important, yes, but so is physical -and no one is completely hideous or absolutely perfect. I believe in balance and doing your the best you can do at any given moment. You know yourself better than any troll out there does. Don't bother feeding them. Most of them cover up insecurities of their own. But don't look for strength or approval in others, either. Just try to be the best you can be, spiritually and physically, and your natural beauty will shine through. And if you fuck up today, well, there's always tomorrow.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-5223277761496685242012-08-14T19:52:54.332-05:002012-08-14T19:52:54.332-05:00Thank you, lady, I just stumbled onto your blog, a...Thank you, lady, I just stumbled onto your blog, and you have no idea how much I needed to hear this today. I AM FAT, I AM UGLY, SO FUKKIN WHAT. <br />You are a goddess. No matter what you look like, you are beautiful because you helped a total stranger.cynicallibrarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05543132522513942112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-33742561770803297992012-08-13T16:20:44.577-05:002012-08-13T16:20:44.577-05:00Heidi, I know you're not a "God" per...Heidi, I know you're not a "God" person, but I thought I would share this with you anyway, because it has spoken to my heart so many times when I've gotten down on myself:<br /><br />"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." -1 Peter 3:3-4<br /><br /><3 SarahAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-46326338740339825582012-08-13T15:51:42.995-05:002012-08-13T15:51:42.995-05:00Long time reader, first time commenter, rock on He...Long time reader, first time commenter, rock on Heidi, you're amazing. <br /><br />Love this poetry slam piece about "pretty", hope you do too.<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6wJl37N9C0<br />RebeccaGreenenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-67411911522783588712012-08-11T17:55:22.346-05:002012-08-11T17:55:22.346-05:00Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.
Remember ...Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. <br />Remember that.<br />Love, Kath.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-34790184097899558622012-08-11T17:34:09.206-05:002012-08-11T17:34:09.206-05:00This is just what I needed to see right now.
"...This is just what I needed to see right now.<br />"Fat" and "ugly" are two words that have been thrown at me since I was just a little kid - from teachers, pupils, people in shops and on the street, from cars as I'm waiting at the bus stop, some family members who don't know they're doing any wrong... Everywhere. I even feel like the shit that is spewed from the media is personally targeted towards me, and I blush with shame that I'm so ugly. I imagine other supposedly "ugly" individuals feel the same there, or maybe that's just me being a little odd.<br /><br />I've read your blog only for a few months and I regularly come back again and again to read through some older posts because they boost my confidence - ugly and fat are 2 words that go together so well, it seems, and have been said to me to the point I've cut myself, cried myself to sleep and thought of myself as unworthy in every possible way - be it any hobbies/activities I enjoy, getting a partner, participating at school, making friends... Everything. It sends me into a great panic because I think to myself, "God, you're so ugly no one would be seen dead with you. You can't wear the right clothes, you don't look the right way, you're too fat. Quit while you're ahead."<br /><br />I'm ashamed to say that only just at 19 years of age I'm just realising that being considered "ugly" and being fat doesn't actually DEFINE me and they're most definitely not the WORST THINGS TO BE. God, I have the worst days sometimes. All the bad stuff replays in my head, from when I was a kid to recent abuse from strangers ranging from being called an ugly fat bitch or just being laughed and stared at. And it gets me so fucking low. But there are goodd days. I'm heartbroken only recently I've actually thought to myself that life is way too short, and the media way too twisted, and people's views too moulded and contorted - to hate myself and get down about being called ugly and fat.<br /><br />I find it so strange how I can call myself fat but when others do, it hurts like hell. I'm trying to change that and so far so good. Fat. It's okay. It isn't a bad thing. I'm totally owning fat at the moment, grabbing the words as they're said out of the abusers mouth's with my fat little hand and blowing them back with a kiss. I'm totally beyond that. Ugly is a different matter though. It's harder than fat for me. Everybody is so scared to be considered as ugly they will do all they can to change it, instead of attempting some kind of self love, or thinking they're beautiful for different things. I don't think I'm tremendously beautiful or pretty or cute on the outside - not at all. But damn, I am NOT ugly. I'm kind and considerate. I listen to my friends and help them when they need it. Hell, I'll help anyone who needs it. I'm always polite and thinking of others and yeah, this sounds like cheesy bullshit but it's true - I'm a fucking nice person, making me beautiful. I'm brave. I've gotten through a hell of a lot, I'm still here standing and I am fucking beautiful.<br /><br />So thank you so much for this post. You are beautiful, Heidi, don't you forget it. Anybody can see that just by the words you post - and although you don't need any validation from me or anybody else, but you're pretty fucking Goddamn beautiful on the outside, too. So you fucking own ugly and all the other shitty words thrown at you and you make them look GOOD! You show them lowlives that spew abuse and these words like they're the worst thing you could ever be that you don't fucking care and you're a million times better than that.<br /><br />I'm sorry this is so long, but you are amazing and this is just what I needed right now. I seriously wish I knew you IRL and could be best friends! You keep getting better every day, and you keep strong. Thank you for posting on this blog. <3-https://www.blogger.com/profile/08714273565264718216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-82458123457267321932012-08-11T11:14:06.244-05:002012-08-11T11:14:06.244-05:00"Fuck your “flattering clothes.” Fuck your “c..."Fuck your “flattering clothes.” Fuck your “cover your fat rolls.” Fuck your “ideal weight.” Fuck your “you'll never get a date."<br /><br />That's pretty much what goes through my head every day. It goes through my head every time I go on another shitty date or get involved in a terrible relationship because I never have believed that I deserve any better. I haven't even made any friends since going back to college because I feel like I have nothing to offer them and I'm stuck in the most heartbreaking relationship that I feel like if I leave it, I'll somehow be even more alone. <br /><br />I've never commented on your blog before but I've been reading for ages. I commented today because this is the first time i've read one of your posts and cried because I can't believe someone has found a way to express the exact kind of bullshit that fogs my head and not only that, but you've found a way to make peace and empower yourself. I can only one day hope to find that in myself too.<br /><br /><3Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-48322801654750212252012-08-11T01:13:12.747-05:002012-08-11T01:13:12.747-05:00I think this is the best, most meaningful, most he...I think this is the best, most meaningful, most helpful thing I've ever read on your blog, and that's saying a LOT, because I always love to read what you write. Thanks for laying this out so simply, logically, and beautifully. I'm taking inspiration from this post and holding it in my heart as I deal with my own issues of appearance, which for me are focused on aging and dealing with losing whatever looks I might've had.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-75198952162072868022012-08-10T18:57:11.501-05:002012-08-10T18:57:11.501-05:00Hear hear! This is exactly how I feel about fat. W...Hear hear! This is exactly how I feel about fat. Who gives a shit? It means NOTHING.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13950371958536643373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-86349570556273749672012-08-10T14:44:45.825-05:002012-08-10T14:44:45.825-05:00ROCK THE FUCK ON :)ROCK THE FUCK ON :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-36223772019510417672012-08-10T14:27:37.915-05:002012-08-10T14:27:37.915-05:00As always your words fill in the spaces of what mo...As always your words fill in the spaces of what most of us are trying to say......I'm glad you shared this on FB....I expect you will get more readers as a result.Terrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01152768788895070566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-73606731313272556012012-08-10T13:01:11.769-05:002012-08-10T13:01:11.769-05:00I disagree - you're fat, but you're not ug...I disagree - you're fat, but you're not ugly. you're a beautiful person, because all those things you described are true beauty - strength, kindness, bravery - heck you're a wonderful person, and you're right, fuck your 'pretty' - but not being pretty isn't being ugly - being ugly is judging people on appearrance, suggesting someone kills themselves, lying, not caring<br /><br />the opposite of pretty isn't ugly - ugly has nothing to do with the outsideAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02695907238651098038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-18979206740453835692012-08-10T13:00:14.522-05:002012-08-10T13:00:14.522-05:00This is my ugly theme song (NSFW): http://www.yout...This is my ugly theme song (NSFW): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5tg5JLClpo<br /><br />Also, one of my favorite bands as a kid was AVAIL, and they had a teeshirt with the words "poor, ugly, happy" written on the back of it. I wish I still had it, but I wore it threadbare. <3polianarchyhttp://drtyson.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-55660965760895607382012-08-10T12:52:58.047-05:002012-08-10T12:52:58.047-05:00I trusted my ex because he called me those things....I trusted my ex because he called me those things. I knew he was telling the truth. I never trusted guys who told me I had a nice smile or I was funny or anything good - I knew they were lying. I was a fat ugly bitch and that's that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-40365318981385722642012-08-10T12:37:29.138-05:002012-08-10T12:37:29.138-05:00Really, aside from the fact that you are sufficien...Really, aside from the fact that you are sufficiently beautiful inside that your looks shouldn't matter anyway, you're actually extremely attractive on the outside, so it's not that what the small-minded say to you shouldn't count, it's that they're lying to you to break your confidence. Fuck them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-62846046703865406032012-08-10T12:35:58.242-05:002012-08-10T12:35:58.242-05:00Heidi, I have always love the beauty in you.
Jan...Heidi, I have always love the beauty in you. <br />JaniceJanice Muraskohttp://mtpawly.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-47959291787586783242012-08-10T11:49:31.955-05:002012-08-10T11:49:31.955-05:00Good for you! The outside wrapper is so inconsequ...Good for you! The outside wrapper is so inconsequential when the ugly in the heart shines through. You are far more beautiful than your haters will ever be.angissonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09685290728896361836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402549770293124368.post-52997562464868571632012-08-10T11:43:06.130-05:002012-08-10T11:43:06.130-05:00That's what I'm fuckin' talkin' ab...That's what I'm fuckin' talkin' about babe.Brenda Jeanhttp://thebustytraveler.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com