Monday, December 16, 2013

I got my new driver’s license.  I think that means I’m Alabama official.  License plate and ID…no turning back now! 

My former license photo was horrifying.  I had the flu, felt like I was dying, had to wait for hours in the DMV, and had one day left to get it done so I couldn’t leave.  Look at this shit!



(200 POUNDS! BAHAHAAAAAAAAA!  In my defense, I put that when I was a miserable, self-loathing 16 year old and I tried to change it when I got replacements but it never went through.)

Now:



I swear to god, I looked cute!  I have no idea what happened in the five minutes between looking at myself in my compact and standing in front of the camera.  Eesh.  Also,  

ACCIDENTAL DISEMBODIED HEAD!

Then, on my way home, I had a blow out on the freeway.  Talk about terrifying.  I ended up having to replace two tires which is so shitty because I’m just so behind this month and I’m already having to cancel doctor’s appointments because I can’t afford the copays.  Blah.

My roommates are moving out and, once they do, I’ll have almost nothing left in my kitchen.  For my birthday I got a set of mixing bowls, measuring cups, measuring spoons, a toaster, baking dishes, and a big, beautiful blender!  I’ve never had a blender, I’m terribly excited!!  Once they’ve moved I’ll know what I have left and hit up the thrift stores for what else, if anything, I need.

I’ve realized that my weekly To Do list and my expectations for myself are for The Heidi I Want to Be instead of for The Heidi I Am Now.  I need to start small and consider every step an accomplishment.  I’m ruled by an all-or-nothing mindset (Which is something that’s common with people who have borderline.)  and it’s just not working for me. At all.  Never has, never will.  So, baby steps.  Instead of putting “swim” on three days of next week I put it once.  Because I can succeed with that as a goal.  And success is just going to propel me further while constantly “failing” is going to continue fucking with my head.  There is no “right time.”  I will never be “ready.”  I need to push myself to do this shit, even if I don’t feel like it.  Especially things that are good for me.

In other news, I attempted to make my first paper snowflake.  Um… 



WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO!?  I’d blame it on it being 2am but I was wide awake so that’s not a fair excuse.  I can’t stop laughing because it’s just so incredibly awful!!

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