I was invited to be part of the Aha Moment project. I was very close to not doing it. I even pulled into the parking, made an immediate u-turn, and left. But I came back! See, ironically, I planned to talk about forcing yourself to push beyond the things that scare you; to be afraid but doing it anyway. And I was terrified about this situation. Fear 1) going sleeveless. Fear 2) speaking about myself in front of people I don’t know. And fear 3) being filmed. But, you know what? If I’m telling other people to push past their fears, I really damn well better do the same. So I did it. They edited out a lot because of how short the segments are but, hopefully, my point came across.
My Aha Moment
I got into the pool at the gym on Monday! Talk about scary. I didn’t realize that, because of the summer camps they offer, the goddamn pool would be me and four goddamn dozen kids. This wasn’t “scary”, this was panic attack inducing scary! I told myself, just get in the water, you can leave in five minutes if you want to. So I got in the pool and since I couldn’t do the walking with 1,000 kids in my way, I just hooked my arms along the edge behind me, and kicked my legs. Since there was zero pressure on my joints and no pain at all, I managed to do it for an hour before finally stopping. Then I just enjoyed being in the water, even during the many cannon balls done next to me, sending a tsunami of water to hit me. I want to try the aqua aerobics class.
While in the pool, I made a couple of nine-year old friends. One I caused shock and awe in when I told him that holding your breath is something you can improve with practice - I BLEW THAT CHILD’S MIND.
Him: Are those tattoos waterproof?
Me: They’re permanent and will always be there.
Me: Yep, forever.
Him: Even when you die?!
Me: Even AFTER I die!
Him: You have a lot of tattoos. But you have lots of room for them.
Me: Totally! I’m fat so I have lots of space for them!
Him: Some people would diet.
Me: Some people would, some people wouldn’t. All bodies are good bodies.
Him: That’s true. Do you think I can hold my breath long enough to swim to the other side?!
I called a friend I hadn’t talked to in…god, about 10 years? Maybe a little less than that. And I was so scared because it had been so long and he had asked me to call him so many times since he found me on facebook. But I finally did it and it was wonderful. I’ve missed him but I didn’t realize how much until I heard his voice. Yay!
Once the weather clears up (it’s currently raining - fucking Alabama) I’m going to take a picture in my bikini top. Prepare yourselves for the whitest belly ever!