I love lists. I always have. They
calm me and make me feel more focused. So when New Years rolls
around, I'm excited to make a list of goals.
2013
The
Year of Authenticity and Giving Voice to the Growing Fire Inside
To have accomplished by December 31, 2013
Take
Back My Power
Stand
up to (my landlord) – send letter and get home safe and livable
Say
“no” to sex/dates/anything with people I don't like/want
Do not
lend money I can't afford to lend
Set
boundaries and say “no”
Be more
assertive
Ask for
help when I need it and accept it when it's offered
Do what
scares me, do what I don't do now
Date
Myself
Spoil
myself
Take
myself out to eat
Buy
myself flowers
Treat
Myself Like I Would My 5 Year Old Self – with love, kindness, and
forgiveness
Physical
Health
Biking
30 minutes a day, 5 days a week
Physical
therapy daily – alternating between cardio and stretching
Try this whole yoga thing
Be able
to walk 30 minutes without stopping
Receive
a massage
Visit
chiropractor
New
glasses
Eating
Meet with the Fat Nutritionist 2x a month
Give myself permission when I eat
Keep a food/emotion journal
Drink one gallon of water a day
Be working on eating mindfully
Be working on an eating schedule
Be working towards more simple foods and less processed
ones
Be working towards eating gluten free
Mental
Health
Be
working on mindfulness
Take
medications and vitamins every single day
Therapy
every week
Finish
DBT group
Work on
DBT skills on my own – books
Therapeutic
writing 2x a week
Meditate
3x a week
Work
through What You Really Really Want again
Work
through Beautiful You
Be
working towards self acceptance and love
Be
working towards much less self criticism
Allow
people to love me
Social
See
friends once a week
Attend
Wasted Wednesday 2x a month
Reach
out to old friends and stop being afraid to make new ones
Accept
sexual attention/body worship with NO guilt or shame
Get
naked, under lights, with no hesitation or apology
Ask for
what I want in bed and only fuck people who deserve it
See a
movie in the theater
Go to
(the local independent coffee shop)
Appearance
Paint
my nails once a week
Get a
pedicure
Only
own clothes I love
Primp
several times a week – body scrub, feet scrub, face mask, shave...
Play
with makeup
Home
Clean/tidy
daily
Scrub
once every 1-2 weeks
Have a
home acceptable for pop-ins
Know
that it doesn't have to be perfect or spotless
Have
art on the walls
Finances
Sell
plasma twice a week
Have
$100 in savings
Life
Read 25
books
Be
volunteering on a regular basis
Have
150 pictures in my 2013 flickr folder
Submit
an “It Happened to Me” to xojane
Update
blog 2x a week
Learn
how to do something new
It doesn't matter if I'm not able to cross all of these off. These are things I'll be working on for the rest of my life. But this year is a start. And, on December 31st, I will be closer to these goals than I am now.
“You cannot use someone else’s
fire; you can only use your own. And in order to do that, you must
first be willing to believe you have it.”
Audre Lords
“Picture yourself when you were five.
In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to
your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would
you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you
would protect her fiercely while giving her space
to spread her itty-bitty wings. She’d get naps, healthy
food, imagination time, and adventures into the wild. If
playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away
and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns
turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving time-out in
the naughty chair. From this day forward I want you to extend that
same compassion to your adult self.”
Kris Carr
This made me happy today, on a day when I otherwise felt like I let myself and others down immensely. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI hope you won't mind if I share my perspective on the gluten-free thing, as I've been trying it this year: I've read tons about it, and what I've found is that science generally indicates that there is no reason why non-celiacs would benefit from cutting gluten yet a very large number of people say they feel better off without it. I know I do! My theory is that it's not wheat itself that affects us, but the form in which we usually eat it - refined white flour, with little nutritional value, and often (such as in most kinds of sliced white bread) with tons of added sugar or HCFS as a preservative. These foods are also really high up the glycemic index. If we were eating gluten in the form of whole-wheat, non-sugary foods, I doubt it would be any problem for me. But I've never developed a taste for that, so I decided to try dropping the white bread and pasta...and I feel tons better for it.
ReplyDeleteI've taken to baking cakes with almond flour rather than white flour - almonds are SO NUTRITIOUS AND TASTY and I adore the texture of almond cake, it's so moist and buttery. It also costs about 10x as much per pound, so I make less cakes now, but enjoy them more when I do. I've pretty much completely stopped eating cakes I didn't bake myself, which is good in so many ways.
Don't know what's specifically happening w/ landlord but (if you haven't checked it out already I mean) Legal Services Alabama (.org) should have helpful info on its website, and they might even be able to help you as a client. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteYou seem very nice...but if you spent your time actually doing these things instead of making lists, you'd be a lot happier with yourself. Having a big list of things to do simply makes things more difficult, because now you have this "big thing" you have to deal with. Just get out there and start doing.
ReplyDeleteI also love list making. I loved this post, and has inspired me. :)
ReplyDelete