A Quick Update

First! There's an awesome cyber event happening on 2/19! It's an all day event with seven amazing and body positive speakers! I can't afford to attend but I'm hoping some of you can! I think it'll kick ass!

We’re constantly trying to fit ourselves into someone else’s idea of what we should be. We obsess over food to try to be thinner and obsess over our bodies because we’re not “supposed to be” this size. We’re too loud, or too quiet, too bossy or too permissive, too sexy or not sexy enough, too much or not enough.

But what if there’s another way. What if you can have the fun, sexy, wonderful dating life you want right now?

If this is what you’re looking for, you have come to the right place!

In this Body Positive Dating Master Class, you will meet and hear from our experts who know all about having a deliciously fun dating life at any size. In this engaging one-day-only event, you will discover simple ways to get more of what you want, whether that’s more great dates, a serious relationship or any other romantic situations you desire!

Second! How amazing is this!?!

Third! How are you all!? I know it's been awhile. I really am determined to update more often like I used to. Those were the days! But let me play some catch up. Okay, let's see. Lists will make it easiest so let's go with that.


Mental Health
I've had some bad days but, in general, I'm feeling a lot better. I'm on a new mood stabilizer which has to melt under my tongue and then I'm not allowed to drink for 10 minutes. Have I mentioned it tastes like death? Because, dear god, does it ever. I gag repeatedly because of the taste. Blech. Why!? Why would you make a drug to quell psychosis and cause it to taste horrendous! Especially when the people treated with it are notorious for not taking their meds regularly/at all. We don't need a reason to throw them out! I don't seem to be having any sort of reaction to the change but it's only been a couple of days at the moment.

So, my therapist, psychiatrist, and I are discussing the possibility of ADD. The whole thing kinda shocks me. I mean, I was always led to believe ADD was a kind of mania. And I sure as hell do not have the energy to be manic. But then I started reading about it. I tried to just shrug it off but then I realized that I have nearly ever symptom and it was all the negative shit that my medications have never helped. They both told me that ADD does not equal ADHD and hyperactivity isn't required, as it were, to have ADD. But the symptoms of ADD totally overlap with depression and anxiety. We'll see. He wants to make sure I stay stable now that I have a new mood stabilizer and then give medication a try. To see if it can actually calm my mind enough to do something instead of obsessing and feeling overwhelmed and all that other shit. I don't know, we'll see.


Physical Health
Struggling. Kind of a lot. I've recently acquired massive mystery bruises all over my legs and arms. They have no cause and some are the size of my entire hand. I started taking iron supplements last night in order to see if it's a deficiency. Fingers crossed!


Social Life
Not much happening there either! My roommates have been trying to get me out of the house. Well, all my friends do.

The roommates managed to get me down to the other end of the trailer park to hang with them and some of their friends. In the past I've always refused for one reason or another. Shyness, anxiety, pain. But that changed! I spent a wonderful time with people so excited to see me! Cheap beer and, truly, the best chicken I have ever had. Blasting old school funk and Motown while groups played dominoes and spades. Both of which I've asked my roommate to teach me. It was awesome. I'm so glad I went. They've been asking/demanding that my roommates bring me down for months and were just so happy to have me there. It felt good. To be out of the house. To meet new people. To feel welcomed and liked. There's a reason socializing is one of my main goals for the year!


Home

I stood up to my landlady and shes fixing shit finally! The trailer is a piece of shit so, hopefully, as things are repaired it'll be slightly less so. My roommates have talked off and on about moving to another trailer on the lot but nothing's set in stone. I suggested we work more on keeping the common areas clean because you all know the hoarding parents have left me really weird/anxious about cleanliness/clutter.

One of my goals is to have a home/room that I don't freak out about if someone is coming over. I deserve to have a clean home for myself alone, of course. But, for now, other people seeing it is the best incentive for me to actually make it happen. Nothing's gross or messy, really. The rooms just need to be vacuumed, dusted, and tidied more often. And scrubbed on occasion. Jesus I'm dull.

Okay, I'm going to stop there and work on updating more. And leaving the house so I have adventures to talk about! And taking more pictures!

Books Read in November, December, & January

Roving Pack by Sassafrass Lowrey

Magic for Beginners by Kelly Link

Nancy Drew #7 - #27 by Carolyn Keene

Hardy Boys #1 by Franklin W Dixon

The Good Wife Guide: 19 Rules for Keeping a Happy Husband by Ladies' Homemaker Monthly

Farewell, Fred Voodoo: A Letter from Haiti by Amy Wilentz

Zombiekins by Kevin Bolger

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Leather Ever After: An Anthology of Kinky Fairy Tales
Hollywood Buckaroo
Carry the One

You should add me on Good Reads! If you're so inclined.

TV Discovered in November, December, & January

Dr Katz, Professional Therapist

Miranda

Couples Therapy (Dourtney! “I've saved lives!” Etc!)

A Touch of Cloth

A Spongebob Christmas

Movies Discovered in November, December, & January

Repo!: A Genetic Opera (motherfucking glo-ri-ous)

Barbarella (even more insane than I anticipated which just made it even more amazing)

Sound of My Voice

Bottle Rocket

Chicago

Rush Hour 2

Shriek if You Know What I Did blah blah blah (turned it off after less than 10 minutes)

Bean (less than half)

Gremlins 1 & 2

Ghostbusters 2

Rock of Ages

Dark Shadows

Duck Soup

Charade

Trail of the Pink Panther

The Importance of Being Ernest

A Night in Casablanca

Fire with Fire

Tourist Trap – Rifftrax

Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey – Rifftrax

Little Shop of Horrors – Rifftrax

Total Recall – remake (oh god, it was like 90% chase scenes...awful)

Rise of the Planet of the Apes – Rifftrax

Wicker Man – Rifftrax

Possession

Dylan Dog

Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe – Rifftrax

Coal Miner's Daughter