Monday, January 28, 2013

A Quick Update

First! There's an awesome cyber event happening on 2/19! It's an all day event with seven amazing and body positive speakers! I can't afford to attend but I'm hoping some of you can! I think it'll kick ass!

We’re constantly trying to fit ourselves into someone else’s idea of what we should be. We obsess over food to try to be thinner and obsess over our bodies because we’re not “supposed to be” this size. We’re too loud, or too quiet, too bossy or too permissive, too sexy or not sexy enough, too much or not enough.
But what if there’s another way. What if you can have the fun, sexy, wonderful dating life you want right now?
If this is what you’re looking for, you have come to the right place!
In this Body Positive Dating Master Class, you will meet and hear from our experts who know all about having a deliciously fun dating life at any size. In this engaging one-day-only event, you will discover simple ways to get more of what you want, whether that’s more great dates, a serious relationship or any other romantic situations you desire!
Second! How amazing is this!?!

Third! How are you all!? I know it's been awhile. I really am determined to update more often like I used to. Those were the days! But let me play some catch up. Okay, let's see. Lists will make it easiest so let's go with that.

Mental Health
I've had some bad days but, in general, I'm feeling a lot better. I'm on a new mood stabilizer which has to melt under my tongue and then I'm not allowed to drink for 10 minutes. Have I mentioned it tastes like death? Because, dear god, does it ever. I gag repeatedly because of the taste. Blech. Why!? Why would you make a drug to quell psychosis and cause it to taste horrendous! Especially when the people treated with it are notorious for not taking their meds regularly/at all. We don't need a reason to throw them out! I don't seem to be having any sort of reaction to the change but it's only been a couple of days at the moment.

So, my therapist, psychiatrist, and I are discussing the possibility of ADD. The whole thing kinda shocks me. I mean, I was always led to believe ADD was a kind of mania. And I sure as hell do not have the energy to be manic. But then I started reading about it. I tried to just shrug it off but then I realized that I have nearly ever symptom and it was all the negative shit that my medications have never helped. They both told me that ADD does not equal ADHD and hyperactivity isn't required, as it were, to have ADD. But the symptoms of ADD totally overlap with depression and anxiety. We'll see. He wants to make sure I stay stable now that I have a new mood stabilizer and then give medication a try. To see if it can actually calm my mind enough to do something instead of obsessing and feeling overwhelmed and all that other shit. I don't know, we'll see.

Physical Health
Struggling. Kind of a lot. I've recently acquired massive mystery bruises all over my legs and arms. They have no cause and some are the size of my entire hand. I started taking iron supplements last night in order to see if it's a deficiency. Fingers crossed!

Social Life
Not much happening there either! My roommates have been trying to get me out of the house. Well, all my friends do.

The roommates managed to get me down to the other end of the trailer park to hang with them and some of their friends. In the past I've always refused for one reason or another. Shyness, anxiety, pain. But that changed! I spent a wonderful time with people so excited to see me! Cheap beer and, truly, the best chicken I have ever had. Blasting old school funk and Motown while groups played dominoes and spades. Both of which I've asked my roommate to teach me. It was awesome. I'm so glad I went. They've been asking/demanding that my roommates bring me down for months and were just so happy to have me there. It felt good. To be out of the house. To meet new people. To feel welcomed and liked. There's a reason socializing is one of my main goals for the year!

I stood up to my landlady and shes fixing shit finally! The trailer is a piece of shit so, hopefully, as things are repaired it'll be slightly less so. My roommates have talked off and on about moving to another trailer on the lot but nothing's set in stone. I suggested we work more on keeping the common areas clean because you all know the hoarding parents have left me really weird/anxious about cleanliness/clutter.

One of my goals is to have a home/room that I don't freak out about if someone is coming over. I deserve to have a clean home for myself alone, of course. But, for now, other people seeing it is the best incentive for me to actually make it happen. Nothing's gross or messy, really. The rooms just need to be vacuumed, dusted, and tidied more often. And scrubbed on occasion. Jesus I'm dull.

Okay, I'm going to stop there and work on updating more. And leaving the house so I have adventures to talk about! And taking more pictures!

Books Read in November, December, & January
Roving Pack by Sassafrass Lowrey
Magic for Beginners by Kelly Link
Nancy Drew #7 - #27 by Carolyn Keene
Hardy Boys #1 by Franklin W Dixon
Zombiekins by Kevin Bolger
You should add me on Good Reads! If you're so inclined.

TV Discovered in November, December, & January
Dr Katz, Professional Therapist
Couples Therapy (Dourtney! “I've saved lives!” Etc!)
A Touch of Cloth
A Spongebob Christmas

Movies Discovered in November, December, & January
Repo!: A Genetic Opera (motherfucking glo-ri-ous)
Barbarella (even more insane than I anticipated which just made it even more amazing)
Sound of My Voice
Bottle Rocket
Rush Hour 2
Shriek if You Know What I Did blah blah blah (turned it off after less than 10 minutes)
Bean (less than half)
Gremlins 1 & 2
Ghostbusters 2
Rock of Ages
Dark Shadows
Duck Soup
Trail of the Pink Panther
The Importance of Being Ernest
A Night in Casablanca
Fire with Fire
Tourist Trap – Rifftrax
Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey – Rifftrax
Little Shop of Horrors – Rifftrax
Total Recall – remake (oh god, it was like 90% chase scenes...awful)
Rise of the Planet of the Apes – Rifftrax
Wicker Man – Rifftrax
Dylan Dog
Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe – Rifftrax
Coal Miner's Daughter

1 comment:

  1. Give yourself credit; you've done so much in the past couple of months. Good luck with the new meds and new diagnosis....and getting out to make new friends. You are doing so well..really.