Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I'm Back! I Swear!

So have you all given up on me yet?  I swear I'm still here!  I swear I still think about you guys all the time!  I swear I don't want to give up on this blog!  The writer's block is just...leaving me at a loss.

I was telling myself I have nothing to write about but I know that isn't true.  While I don't have anything going on currently (like on a day-to-day basis), there's so much in my past I could write about.  I realized today that I don't write just like I have trouble talking in therapy these days.  I told my therapist that I wanted to discuss and deal with the shit in my past but I haven't been.  I just go silent.  Why?  I'm scared.  I'm overwhelmed by it all.  I don't know what to say.  I don't know where to start. 

I don't know, maybe I should just pick a topic and write.  Or have someone else pick a topic and write.  Whether I want to or not.  Whether I feel like it or not.    Just pick a topic and a length of time and type.  I think that might be something I should try doing. 

I've been having some depressed moments.  Episodes.  Super sad, very antisocial, etc.  I see my psychiatrist in a month so I guess I'll see where I'm at then.  I just hate it.  I hate feeling as I'm failing because I couldn't stay happy.  Sigh.  Well, hey, look at that...another thing I should write about!

I got this question and I have zero resources for this person.  Can any of you PLEASE help me out with information for them?  Anonymous asked: Do you know of any online resources (blogs, tumblrs, anything with a potential for feedback) that might give support to a person supporting their spouse through mental illness?    That are inclusive to or even geared toward trans/queer/genderqueer/poly types? I felt like you might be the right person to ask, I'm sorry if this question is too obscure!  I realized I don't know of any resources, not even for those who themselves have mental illnesses. 

Oh, FYI:
I'm way behind on my sex toy reviews so what I'm going to do is just post three or four of them on a single day, one right after the other, to get them taken care of and out of the way.  I also have a toy for a giveaway so I'll do that on that same day.  So I'll be mostly caught up and can move on and stop thinking about that.  I'll only be linking to the giveaway on twitter and Facebook, not all the reviews.  Did that make sense?  I hope so. 

Okay, so I'm going to post a bunch of reviews and then start writing more.  This is the plan and I'm sticking to it!  I haven't disappeared.  Well, okay, I have but I'm back.  It might be hard but I'm going to make this happen. 


  1. I'm having some days of "ech"....whatever....myself. You have to make yourself write...and I have found that once I start letting the thoughts out of my head....they just keep on coming out.

  2. Some ideas:

    How the work with the fat nutritionist is going
    Why you want to do criminal justice
    What happens at a kink party
    How your goals have changed
    Your new Alabama friends

  3. I agree with What Happens at a Kink Party -- for those of us who are less adventurous. We can live vicariously!

  4. Hi Beautiful!

    I agree with 'anonymous' above. All of these I, personally, and hopefully speaking for us all, would really like to hear you elaborate on.

    Especially the kink parties. Because we are kinky bastards. But really because most especially, it seems to be given the 'oh and then this happened' gloss-over treatment in your blog. Maybe this is because of fear, privacy, or self-editing...? But I for one am really curious. Your character is fascinating: at once so frank, yet timid sometimes. I mean, you've given us plenty of detail on your blog. ou haven't pulled any pucnhes. But there are gaps of mystery. It's not voyeurism that compels me to ask. But you do such a good job of taking us along with you, on your sometimes painful life journey.

    1. It's not timidity, I'm just trying to be respectful, I suppose, of people who don't want to read about my sex life. Which is why I started a blog specifically for sex. But I don't mind talking a bit more about that stuff here! I'll work on it!