“Realize that anyone who tries to put you down about your appearance is assuming that it is your job to please them visually. Once you realize that it isn’t your job to be visually pleasing to anyone, ever, it becomes very hard for anyone to make you feel bad about yourself.”
I really need to focus on self care. It's a hard thing for me. I fall off the wagon constantly and have trouble getting back on. So my goals for April are to:
a) Introduce meditation/relaxation into my life on a daily basis and
b) Move my body in a physical way on an (eventually) daily basis
My beloved friend Mandy – Sea Beats – really inspired me to give meditation a try and, through her links, I came across this free mp3 relaxation exercise. I feel amazing after doing it.
Physical activity wise I'm sticking with the biking (which I do on this) and arm lifts. I aim for 10 minutes a day of the biking and 100 arm lifts. Usually I go over both. But sometimes I go under. And I refuse to beat myself up over that. Movement is movement is movement and anything I do is awesome.
I'm hoping to figure out a way to pay my deductible so I can see a pain doctor and get back on some painkillers. I've gotten a few recommendations because the pain doctor I've been seeing just doesn't believe in opiates. Which is fine but they're something I need in my pain management. So, we'll see. Hopefully I can come up with the money within the next few months. Self care is so much easier when not in crippling pain!
It's hard being present and active in your body when you've spent your whole life hiding from it. But, surprisingly, or maybe not surprisingly, it feels wonderful. I need to view self care as a form of strength and power. As an act of resistance and revolution. As a force of nature that can't be ignored.