- Attend Southern Union in fall
MENTAL HEALTH
- Work on Feeling Good Handbook
- Work on What You Really Really Want book
- Deal with past in therapy – once a week at least
- Take medications daily – do NOT let them run out
- Work on loving myself more
PHYSICAL HEALTH
- Continue with the Fat Nutritionist
- Create and implement a food plan for healthier/saner eating
- Create and implement an exercise plan
- Physical therapy on a daily basis
- New glasses
FINANCES
- Find out about declaring bankruptcy
LIFE IN GENERAL
- Begin volunteering
- Visit a new state (0/1)
- Read at least two books per month (0/24)
SELF-CARE
- Get one tattoo (0/1)
- Get one piercing (0/1)
- Bleach and dye hair four times (0/4)
HOME
- Clean out master bedroom
- Clean out junk drawer
- Clean out closet
- Clean out kitchen
- Clean out bathroom
- Create a bedroom I love
SOCIAL LIFE
- Create a list for an ideal partner
- Stop dating/boning assholes
CODEPENDENCY
- Say NO to sex when I don't want it
- Ask for what I want in bed
- Set some boundaries
- Stop feeling so damn guilty about everything
Heidi, really, if you're declaring bankruptcy then you should not be getting a tattoo or piercing. They are frivolities. You don't need them, you shouldn't be aspiring towards them right now. They are not self-care, they won't help you in the long run. Please don't waste money on a tattoo when you're struggling so much.
ReplyDeleteHeidi I've been reading your blog, well, lurking, for...I'm guessing over a year. Your codependency goals are TOTALLY some of my goals for the new year too. I guess I just wanted to say, me too! You're not alone!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great list of goals for 2012. I bet you will complete many of them and be so proud of yourself.
ReplyDeleteIts easy to complete a set of tasks when the bar is set as low as hers.
Deletein all things, remember to be gentle to yourself.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Emily - seem like finding a job/financial independence should not only be ON this list but would rank higher than getting a tattoo/piercing. At some point you have to stop relying on other people to bail you out of bad situations.
ReplyDeletei agree with the comments about finding a job over getting a tattoo or piercing. i too have many mental health issues, a dead mom, a history of sexual and violent abuse at the hands of a trusted family member, an eating disorder--heck, i'm fat, too. the works. and yet, i have a job, though my psychiatrists have suggested disability many times over the years. it gives me self worth. it keeps me social and responsible and accountable. it is as much therapy as any of the sessions with my, well, therapist. if i were in your position i would be focusing on growing up, dropping the legacy of baggage and moving forward as a recovering adult. i'm not saying this out of hate, so please don't add this to your list of "people are so mean to me, look" - i'm saying, rethink your priorities. p.s. i have tattoos too, so it's not like i don't understand the desire for more. just so you know.
ReplyDeleteomg. My contemplation of my ire toward that "BOOTSTRAPS!" comment gave me a revelation.
ReplyDeleteBecause first I was like, "What the fuck barbeque is wrong with relying on other people to help you out of bad situations? NOTHING."
And then I was like, "I mean, WE ARE SOCIAL CREATURES. Millions of years of evolution have hard-wired us to help each other out of shitty situations. THIS IS FUNDAMENTAL."
And then I was like, "Holy shit. It is no wonder that Christian-Right-Wing-Evolution-Deniers are Bootstrapers. Because in their worldview, human intelligence was not evolved on the bedrock of empathy. In their worldview, there were just two individuals, one of whom fucked up, and then humanity was punished. Forever."
So, like, according to that frame, "Suck it up own and up to your shitty choices, which are clearly the only reason you're in pain*" is a godly response to...pain.
Why did I never realize this before?
But I mean, on the other hand, I don't believe all christians are psychopaths completely lacking empathy. It's just...Holy abusive cognitive frame, batman.
*Ugh, just typing that felt gross
I KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THAN YOUR MANY DOCTORS! JUST GET A JOB YOU LAZY BITCH! OH BUT I'M NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN!
ReplyDeleteSeeing how you have no income, lack job prospects and probably cant do an 8hour shift standing up at McDonalds (for 2 very obvious reasons) maybe you shouldnt try to live a 1% trash lifestyle on a 99% budget.
ReplyDeleteYou are poor. You need to learn how to live within those means. Going to waste some of your goverment handout money on a tattoo? What will that accomplish? How will that improve Heidi in any way? How will that teach you how to be self reliant?
Honestly i think the first major step in your life needs to be financial independence. Not some shitty tattoo to match your other shitty tattoos. Your Self Care list is bullshit. Your life is as hard as you allow it to be, and you have allowed it to basically become your crutch for feeling depressed.
Then again, as many handouts as you get, I can understand why you remain this pathetic. Life is easy when you don't have to actually do a damn thing to get by.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I never GOT the tattoos and don't PLAN to! It was a goddamn hope and dream that was never going to happen! Don't you people have things that you want and know you won't get? Things you don't plan to make reality in your present situation? Things that would be awesome but won't happen? THAT'S WHAT THOSE THINGS ARE FOR ME.
ReplyDeleteAnd, seriously, how much money do you think this blog brings in? I've been writing it for 10 years. I have one advertiser. Yes some amazing people have helped me when I was drowning and I will be grateful for them until the day I die but this persistent belief that I must make thousands a month off off this is insane and so completely out of reality.