Sunday, December 11, 2011
Posted by Heidi at 1:52 PM
I hope, I hope, I hope.
While I was in the psych ward, it occurred to me that I've been in therapy for over five years and have yet to deal with my past. It's always been getting through the present. I never dealt with my childhood abuses, my shitty relationships with men, my dad's suicide, my boyfriend's suicide, my mom's death, my eating disorders, my lifelong self loathing... It's just about surviving the now instead of dealing with the shit that's causing my fucked up decisions and self hatred in the first place. And I want that to change. It's time.
But how does one do that? How does one fix their broken parts? I just don't know if therapy is enough. But it's all I have so I might as well get as much out of it as possible. I bought The Feeling Good Handbook awhile back because it was recommended to me by numerous therapists who suggested cognitive behavior therapy to help me.
I'm 33. It's time to create a life I want. A life I can be proud of. It's time I become a person I can be proud of. Someone emotionally/physically healthy and functioning. Someone I can love. And, maybe if I start, I can even learn to love myself along the way.
Labels: mental health