Friday, October 14, 2011


I know I've not been writing very often. If at all. The last six to eight weeks have just been really hard. First going back to California and then I was sick for three weeks. And depression was hitting hard. Because of both of those things I wasn't leaving the house and had nothing to really write about.

But I'm feeling so much better now. My anti-depressants have kicked back in (depression = no self care = no pills = depression = no self's an endless fucking cycle) and, while in California, my former doctor prescribed me some pain killers so I'm actually able to physically function a lot better than before. I'm forcing myself to be more social. Even when I don't necessarily want to go out, I make myself do it anyway. Sometimes I leave early or have a meh time but I do it. Because isolating is so bad for me but it's also so easy for me to do. And the longer I isolate, the harder it is to stop.

I'd say that this week has been pretty good. I actually have energy and lower pain levels. I'm going to a Halloween party tomorrow. I'm dressing up and everything! I'm hoping to do a few more things for Halloween so I can wear my costume more than once. I'll take pictures!

Natalie drew me and it made me feel so giddy and pretty! I love my chubby pink cheeks!!


  1. Gorgeous picture! <3

  2. Hey, Heidi! I don't know if you remember me, but I used to be on diaryland back in the day and the creepy-as-hell powers-that-be on the FB recommended that you be my friend, and I was like, Jesus, you guys! I went by the name "lobsterchick" then. Anywhos... I don't expect you to remember me, but I thought I'd see if you did.

  3. I absolutely LOVE that picture!!!