Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Femme

Thank you all so much for the sweet compliments!! They made me so happy and determined to wear more dresses! And, for those who asked, the dress is Just My Size and bought at WalMart a million years ago. When I showed the picture to someone, he asked, “Was that your first time in the sun ever?” Bahahaha. I know, I know, I'm chalk white.

So, I've decided, this is the summer I find my femme identity.

I've hidden my femme for so long. Out of fear for doing it wrong or looking ridiculous. I didn't wear makeup or dresses or paint my nails, not because I thought it was contradictory to my feminism or my personality but because I was afraid I didn't belong. I wore one costume out of fear I'd be viewed as wearing another. I didn't think I was pretty enough to try. I thought it was a club I could never be part of so I never applied for membership. I never rejected femme – I thought femme rejected me.

It's taken a lot of years but now I think “femme” can be anything and everything and is completely dependent on individual definitions. I don't think it's the same for everyone and it definitely doesn't have to be the rich, thin, White, able-bodied media representation of womanhood. I think femme is a state of mind. A decision to reject that social construct of femininity and create your own.

I want to wear dresses and paint my face and explore colors and patterns and be this bad-ass femme superstar who isn't afraid to be seen. And this is the summer I bring her out to play.

4 comments:

  1. Oh, pshaw. I'm femme-identified, and if you'd have asked me before I read this, I'd have said the same of you. :) You might have to visit ME at some point, because I have tons of makeup and nail varnish--way too much to take to Alabama. I also have makeup books and I recently discovered makeup tutorials on youtube! Check this one out, you will DIEEEE! It's using the Mac Hello Kitty collection (which I don't have, boo!). <3

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkghLd1urmY

    And she's so adorable, too! :)

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  2. You are so amazingly inspiring! I may have to find my femme side this summer, too :)

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  3. Wow. For years I have hidden behind baggy and boring clothes without jewellery, make up, sexy lingerie, sexy shoes etc .. and for what reason? I made many excuses but reading your post made me realise that although one excuse was certainly valid a long time ago, it isn't anymore and I need to stop hiding and bring out the woman in me.

    You continue to inspire me Heidi and I am going to try and be a little braver this summer too .. Thank you!

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  4. I think femme is rejecting.

    It says 'you MUST spend money on makeup and skirts and shoes and the whole self-adornment process', and so it rejects poor women.

    It says 'you MUST make your body appealing to men.' It rejects women who don't want to appeal to men. It says 'you MUST reshape your body - shave off every hair, be permanently underweight, wear a bra even if you don't need one because your boobs have to be up where men can see them.'

    Fuck femme, you can have it.

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