Thank you all so much for the sweet compliments!! They made me so happy and determined to wear more dresses! And, for those who asked, the dress is Just My Size and bought at WalMart a million years ago. When I showed the picture to someone, he asked, “Was that your first time in the sun ever?” Bahahaha. I know, I know, I'm chalk white.
So, I've decided, this is the summer I find my femme identity.
I've hidden my femme for so long. Out of fear for doing it wrong or looking ridiculous. I didn't wear makeup or dresses or paint my nails, not because I thought it was contradictory to my feminism or my personality but because I was afraid I didn't belong. I wore one costume out of fear I'd be viewed as wearing another. I didn't think I was pretty enough to try. I thought it was a club I could never be part of so I never applied for membership. I never rejected femme – I thought femme rejected me.
It's taken a lot of years but now I think “femme” can be anything and everything and is completely dependent on individual definitions. I don't think it's the same for everyone and it definitely doesn't have to be the rich, thin, White, able-bodied media representation of womanhood. I think femme is a state of mind. A decision to reject that social construct of femininity and create your own.
I want to wear dresses and paint my face and explore colors and patterns and be this bad-ass femme superstar who isn't afraid to be seen. And this is the summer I bring her out to play.