Do you know what Tuesday was? No, not Cake and Cunnilingus Day, that was yesterday. It's been six months since I moved to Alabama.
Can you believe this shit!?
What have I accomplished? I'm not really sure. I guess I should look at my life now vs. my life before moving.
♥ I leave the house regularly. I go out with friends to restaurants, hang at their places, run errands with them, drive aimlessly while laughing hysterically. I also go out on my own. I still have serious issues with anxiety but I'm trying to push through them as best I can.
♥ I live somewhere I can afford. The bills get paid every month, I – usually – have food, my gas tank is generally close to empty but it hasn't died yet, and I even buy the occasional cactus or southern meal.
♥ I've made some incredible friends. Who don't let me isolate or skip therapy or beat myself up.
♥ New hair colors!
♥ New tattoos! (Thank you! xoxox)
♥ I've had some of the best sex of my life with some of the most selfless partners. I have sex with the lights on, in daylight, I let roomfuls of strangers see me in my underwear... Being involved in the BDSM community here has introduced me to great people, helped me explore what I want and desire, improve my boundaries and communication skills, and made me more comfortable with my body.
♥ I have no interest in rebuying the multitudes of stuff I got rid of before moving here. I have this new understanding of “need” vs. “want” and the idea of “too much stuff” just makes me uncomfortable. I'm still working on learning how to keep things clean just because I deserve to live in a clean place as opposed to the fact that someone is coming over so I need to tidy up. But the improvement is...beyond words so I'm not going to be too hard on myself.
♥ I've restarted therapy. And will be start seeing a new psychiatrist soon, hopefully.
♥ I'm seeing a pain specialist and am doing physical therapy in hopes of, finally, improving years and years of pain.
♥ The Fat Nutritionist is helping me get a handle of decades worth of disordered eating.
♥ I participated in an amazing sexual empowerment workshop.
♥ I'm learning how to accept help, kindness, and love from others without feeling the need to refuse it or question why I deserve it. Learning...it's a process.
So, yeah. I guess it's been a pretty good six months!