Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Camp, Fire, and Opossum Attack!

This weekend I went to kinky camp and swam naked in the sun, wore a tank top in front of people for the first time since I was 8, drank coffee while sitting on a porch and watching the trees at 7am, ate a ton of amazing food, slurped booze off titties, dug my toes in dirt, played with a tiny little dog that looked like an Ewok, talked, laughed, watched people spin and blow fire, and learned that people really do have my back. And then there was dirty stuff, of course.

The pictures are lacking for obvious privacy issues. But, here, enjoy me, a puppy, and some fire!

Iron-on letters and scissors.

Upper arm fat of whiteness!

1:00am Addition!

I suddenly hear banging and my roommate screaming. There's an opossum in the house. And she's shut it in my bathroom. It hid behind the toilet and I have no clue what I'm doing so I tried to call it to me as if it were a cat.

Heidi: Opossum Wrangler!!

Please note that I'm wearing purple latex sex gloves. That's our version of protective covering in this place.

Little baby opossum! It was so widdle and cute that I had to pet it.

Success! Heidi is the Opossum Whisperer!

Trailer Life, motherfuckers!


  1. You look like you're having so much fun. I'm so proud of you, love.


  3. You're adorable :D Congrats on your possum success!

  4. Normally opossums scare the shit out of me, but that one is so cute! I wouldn't have picked it up, haha, but it's still adorable.

  5. I am so impressed! You are quite the brave woman in the South now. You truly have adapted well! Loved the Heathen shirt and the little dog too!

  6. Sounds fun!

    But if it were me I'd seriously consider rabies shots or at the very least call my local animal control for advice. Without vaccination after exposure rabies is still fatal (<10% survival rate with treatment) in humans.

  7. Great pics, sounds like an incredible weekend, too! Go Heidi! Wooooooooooo!

  8. you have the awesome "thesaurus" t-shirt! i ordered that and it's coming in the mail soon! we're totally twins. well, except that i'm 51. and canadian. and it might be bran who wears it. but still, totally twins!

  9. Little known fact: it is extremely rare for opossums to be infected with rabies. They have incredibly tough immune systems that prevent it, and of all mammals are one of the least likely to contract the disease.

    Another interesting opossum fact: they only have two defensive mechanisms. The first is to hiss and bear their teeth and APPEAR as menacing as possible. The second, if that doesn't drive off the predator? Is playing dead. Which, um, involves losing control of all their bodily movements at the same time.

    That opossum must have trusted you, Heidi, as you could've wound up with a bathroom covered in opossum shit, piss, and vomit!

  10. I'm gonna say something that is none of my fucking business, and I'm just gonna hope it doesn't make you feel bad: You should wear that low cut/push up combo more often!

    It looks amazing, you look super confident and your tattoo isn't exactly unsexy either!