I had my first session with The Fat Nutritionist! I just adore her already. And I'm super excited to work with her. The results of my tests were...um...disordered, to say the least. No real surprise there, I suppose.
I went grocery shopping and was very intentional about it. I allowed myself to explore and actually pay attention to what my body was craving. No rules. Just take it slow, look around, and think about what I want. Honestly, I'm a bit shocked at what I wanted and bought. I went in expecting to crave chips and candy and the like.
What I ended up buying:
Wasa Light Rye Crisp Crackers
Generic Wheat Thins
Diet Dr Thunder (aka generic Diet Dr Pepper)
A package of cheddar cheese slices
A package of six boneless, skinless chicken breasts
A small container of blue cheese
Oatmeal (the prepackaged/flavored kind)
Sriracha (aka rooster) hot sauce
My two financial splurges were wasabi popcorn (holy fucking god good) and this add-water-and-heat thing of peanut noodles.
Man, I do love the dairy! I wanted vegetables but ran out of money. I think I need to buy more food next week, as I'm running low. I've been hungry like crazy lately. I don't know if's my medication, actually having the food I crave, actually having food in the house... But I'm trying hard to not fixate on or stress over that.
I've also been loving these microwaveable cups of split pea soup that Sonya sent me.
So, what's a typical amount of money to spend on food for one person for a week? I've, literally, been living on Cup Noodles for months now so I have no idea what normal is.
Weird shit has been happening in the sex/dating department. In the last entry I
mentioned a date I had with the Greek guy. He read my blog and sent me a message essentially saying, “You have a lot going on in your life...uh, good luck with that!” It made me feel kind of shitty. I mean...there's nothing going on recently that's especially red-flaggy, I don't think. I was talking to my friend about it and she managed to cheer me up. And make me feel a lot less damaged.
Heidi, you are a wonderful and amazing person with a very unique (no, in a GOOD way, silly) personality. But you do have a strong and straightforward nature, that a good many people are not prepared to accept because they're too caught up in the nice, not-quite-honest world. I consider that an asset, but not everyone will. You have learned to embrace your faults and love 'em as you can. You're in a world where people sweep those under the rug or, in some cases, build elaborate forts that are rather incredible homages to self-denial. There isn't a damned thing wrong with you. The fault is with the silly little sheep. So stop being so hard on yourself, because I know right this minute you are.
I'm putting that here because I need to remember it. Often.
Then something happened with another dude... We were doing the friends with benefits thing and he completely freaked out during. I mean, during. Which was hard for me to not take personality. But FwB/casual sex/what have you isn't for everyone.
But it hasn't been all bad. I went to a kink party and got my back set on fire! That was awesome. And I have plans to, um, “hang out” with someone this weekend. She's very...blunt...about wanting me which, as always, kind of throws and confuses me. Me? Seriously? Anyway, that should be fun.
Hmmm, what else is going on?
I'm seeing the pain specialist on the 5th. I'm just going to do it and figure out the financial ramifications later. I should be okay. And once that deductible is paid, I won't have to worry about it until next year.
And, in conclusion, this is the sexiest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.