Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A friend summed the year up perfectly.

I think 2010 was a mean, nasty, cold-blooded, rude, shitty, thankless year from hell, that ultimately seemed to going nowhere. But when I think of where I was last Christmas Eve compared to today, it's a clear it was just an ugly climb to a better place.

I've been struggling this month. A lot. Too much physical pain and overwhelming malaise. But I've been taking my psych meds, at least. Sometimes that's all I can do...take the pills and survive, take the pills and survive, take the pills and survive.

Christmas was meh. It was completely uneventful but ended with my roommate making us a delicious dinner, splitting a bottle of wine, and having phone sex. It started out a D- but ended up a solid B.

2010: Reasons You Didn't Completely Suck

* Rang in the new year by having sex.

* I met D. And got to spend a really wonderful month with someone kind, considerate, and loving. Who loved me and treated me well. His suicide hurt so much but I wouldn't have given that month up to avoid the pain.

* Ashley flew me up to Portland for Valentine's weekend! I met Pam and ate amazing pizza, and saw Storm Large perform with an orchestra.

* I got laid. A lot.

* I discovered that weed cures my insomnia. And calms me down a whole lot.

* I dealt with 40 years worth of my parent's possessions. And a whole ton of my own. Everything I own now fits in a Ford Focus. With the back window clear and the passenger seat empty. It was hard and painful and awful but, oh my god, so freeing and wonderful after the fact. I have zero interest in accumulating the way I used to.

* I was helped, loved, and supported by more people than I thought possible.

* I met tons of incredible people. Online and in person.

* Dude, I took a road trip across the south! That shit was epic.

* First Christmas stocking! And it's a robot!

* I made a huge and terrifying life change that I never thought I'd be capable of. I was so certain I'd stay in California for my entire matter how miserable I was there. And if I can do that? Maybe I really am capable of anything.

I'm excited about 2011. Good things are coming.


  1. So happy to hear that you are ready for a positive New Year. I think 2010 was awful for a lot of us and I know I am ready for a new one. wish you the best, hun. I am rooting for you! <3
    Happy New Year Heidi!

  2. God, that was the best weekend ever. I think the best part was when I finally got to take my skirt off.

  3. 2010 was your year of change...You embraced it and you did it and now you have another new year to look forward to living in.
    Some people come into your life for a moment and some for a lifetime. They are there to teach you something. I think you have had a lot of great teachers this past year.
    Good luck in 2011~!

  4. Happy new year! Glad you got lots of kisses.

  5. MEOW

    It was a shitty year to be your cat. I hate it when 4chan is right.