A friend summed the year up perfectly.
I think 2010 was a mean, nasty, cold-blooded, rude, shitty, thankless year from hell, that ultimately seemed to going nowhere. But when I think of where I was last Christmas Eve compared to today, it's a clear it was just an ugly climb to a better place.
I've been struggling this month. A lot. Too much physical pain and overwhelming malaise. But I've been taking my psych meds, at least. Sometimes that's all I can do...take the pills and survive, take the pills and survive, take the pills and survive.
Christmas was meh. It was completely uneventful but ended with my roommate making us a delicious dinner, splitting a bottle of wine, and having phone sex. It started out a D- but ended up a solid B.
2010: Reasons You Didn't Completely Suck
* Rang in the new year by having sex.
* I met D. And got to spend a really wonderful month with someone kind, considerate, and loving. Who loved me and treated me well. His suicide hurt so much but I wouldn't have given that month up to avoid the pain.
* Ashley flew me up to Portland for Valentine's weekend! I met Pam and ate amazing pizza, and saw Storm Large perform with an orchestra.
* I got laid. A lot.
* I discovered that weed cures my insomnia. And calms me down a whole lot.
* I dealt with 40 years worth of my parent's possessions. And a whole ton of my own. Everything I own now fits in a Ford Focus. With the back window clear and the passenger seat empty. It was hard and painful and awful but, oh my god, so freeing and wonderful after the fact. I have zero interest in accumulating the way I used to.
* I was helped, loved, and supported by more people than I thought possible.
* I met tons of incredible people. Online and in person.
* Dude, I took a road trip across the south! That shit was epic.
* First Christmas stocking! And it's a robot!
* I made a huge and terrifying life change that I never thought I'd be capable of. I was so certain I'd stay in California for my entire life...no matter how miserable I was there. And if I can do that? Maybe I really am capable of anything.
I'm excited about 2011. Good things are coming.