Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Oh, Tobey. Would you mind emailing me? At thesugarmonster AT gmail.com. Whenever you have time.

Today I was going to tackle my To Do list! I was, I swear! And I started out well! I got my car insured and she’s emailing me the proof. So I’m going to print it out tomorrow and get registered. I really wanted to empty out and repack my car but it was raining and I couldn’t, for the life of me, find a covered place with a garbage can. Raining! 60 degrees and raining. It made me so happy. If you didn’t hear about it, we had a horrific heatwave the last week I was trying to move out of the house. 114 degrees!!! With no air conditioning or fan! Good god, that was a nightmare.

I didn’t move my primary doctor’s number to my new phone so I decided to just swing by and ask for my medical records. They were closed to patients but let me in. Before I left I said, “Okay, I know this is impossible but…is there any you can get me into see the doctor before Thursday afternoon? I haven’t had pain killers in months and I’m hurting badly.” I knew the answer would be no as they’ve been trying to get me in for two months. The doctor overheard from the other room and said she’d see me right then.

See? This is why I wish I could take my doctors with me.

She saw me, we talked for awhile, and she wrote me my prescription for Vicodin (and even gave me some extras and a refill.) She said she wanted to test my liver due to all the Vicodin I’ve taken these last few years. I explained that I didn’t have insurance any longer and really couldn’t afford much out of pocket. She said it was okay, she really wanted to make sure I was healthy, so she’d eat the cost of the testing. Seriously, what doctor does that!?!? I ended up making her tear up because I told her how much I appreciate all the respect, concern, and compassion she’s shown me all these years; that I’ve always felt blessed to have her as my doctor. After that I went to the pharmacy and got Vicodin and Ambien. Heaven!

I visited mama. Said it before and I’ll say it again: my mom crying will always destroy me.

“You’ve given up everything. You always do that. You keep losing the things that matter to you – again and again. I’m 62 years and I’ve left you nothing.”

“Mom. Stop! It’s just stuff. It’s all replaceable. All of it. I have you. I have friends who love me. And now I have a fresh start. I don’t even want anything more than that.”

You know how I started with, like, 15 boxes of papers and managed to get it down to one? I brought it in with me and she went through it. Hearing my mom say, “We don’t need this. We can trash this.” Mind-blowing. She tore through that shit in minutes and all of our papers? Now fit in one folder. One fucking folder!! Go Mama!

After that I went to FYE to sell a couple of DVDs. Only they needed my license and I realized I’d left it in my other pants. Then I headed over to AAA in order to get some maps and whatever other freebies membership allots me only to realize that my card was in the same damn pocket as my license.

I was supposed to see my friend, Carlie, for lunch tomorrow but was near her place so I texted her and we were able to get together this afternoon instead. She took me out for a ton of sushi and then we went back to her house and she smoked me the hell out. We ended up just hanging out, talking, and occasionally smoking for five hours. It was the best time I’ve had in awhile. I’m going to miss her. But she really wants to visit so that’ll be awesome.

Tomorrow! Tomorrow it will be productivity galore! And I get to see my beloved Keila! Must remember the camera.


  1. You are a star. And believe it or not, you are helping a cushiebutt stranger up here in Canada find the courage to dig herself out of her own pit :)

    This comment would be a lot longer but I have two of the three kids poking at me and it's driving me bonkers. I SERIOUSLY envy the miles of time on your own you will be having. Road trips have always been a wonderful way for me to centre my focus.

    Keep at it, Heidi. A hundred hugs.

  2. Things seem to be falling into place. What a great doctor you have and how sweet that she wants to be sure you are ok. And how about your mom? She's awesome...bet she is excited about your new adventure too.
    Good luck with the rest of the "to do" list. Take care driving and have a good time.

  3. Alabama, here you come! I'll put a possum on the grill for ya.